Friday, May 20, 2005
WHAT MAKES FOR A GOOD SEX PARTY?
So, you think you can just set out to create your own sex party, do you? Like Tom Cruise did in that movie when his folks were away for the weekend? A piece of cake, you're thinking? Or should we say, a piece of ass, perhaps?
There is more to it than meets the eye, and more planning involved than you might think. Unless you're willing to invite some likely suspects over, turn them loose with a few drinks, a little pot, some nasty movies on the DVD player, and hope for the best. That is more of an orgy than a sex party. As I wrote earlier, an orgy is spontaneous and more like a free-for-all; a sex party takes a little forethought.
Here is my list of those magic "ingredients" that constitute a good party.
1. Good gender balance. It helps when you can get an equal number of men and women. Many places though do not let in single men. They usually have to arrive as a "couple," even though they may split up when they get there and work the room separately. Or, they may let single men in, but if these guys haven't hooked up with someone by a certain point in the evening (usually when they close the doors), they are politely asked to leave. This is to discourage the looky-loos.
2. Good mix of a full spectrum of people. Queer, hetero, bi, transgendered, leather, kink friendly folk. That sounds like quite a mouthful, I know, but don't you believe as I do in variety being the spice of life?
3. You hold the party in a place that is pleasant to hang in. It seems a terrible waste to throw a sex party in a funky place that's ill-suited to accommodate the night's festivities, either because the place is too small, not well-heated or it is poorly set up, i.e. not enough "horizontal space", or no "dungeon" room for the BDSM crowd, where they can enjoy themselves. And believe me, this crowd enjoys itself, they need a whole room of their own.
4. A modest amount of pleasant food. After all, we are not here for food, but you need a reve up in energy if you are going to be going at it like rabbits for a good portion of the night. I like little nibbles of food - bits of apple, strawberries, cheeses, lots of non-alcoholic drinks, and plenty of plain old water.
5. A modest amount of drink. The higher priced parties sometimes serve alcohol. Drugs are almost universally NOT ok, although I think a discreet amount of pot smoking may be taking place.
6. You try and separate the guests from their clothes almost as soon as they walk in the door. In fact, often you are required to take it off AS you check in. Usually they give you an option: either erotic attire, or you run around in your birthday suit. Sometimes they allow the girls more leeway as to what they can wear, and they require the guys to get butt naked. Now I like those parties!
7. Good parking! A most important thing in whether it is a good party or not. What, you're already scoffing at this one? Come back and talk to me after you've tried finding a place to park that Hummer in the Mission District of San Francisco on a Saturday night and it's pouring rain. You have to stand a reasonable chance, in your lifetime please, of finding a parking place decently close by.
TO BE CONTINUED
There is more to it than meets the eye, and more planning involved than you might think. Unless you're willing to invite some likely suspects over, turn them loose with a few drinks, a little pot, some nasty movies on the DVD player, and hope for the best. That is more of an orgy than a sex party. As I wrote earlier, an orgy is spontaneous and more like a free-for-all; a sex party takes a little forethought.
Here is my list of those magic "ingredients" that constitute a good party.
1. Good gender balance. It helps when you can get an equal number of men and women. Many places though do not let in single men. They usually have to arrive as a "couple," even though they may split up when they get there and work the room separately. Or, they may let single men in, but if these guys haven't hooked up with someone by a certain point in the evening (usually when they close the doors), they are politely asked to leave. This is to discourage the looky-loos.
2. Good mix of a full spectrum of people. Queer, hetero, bi, transgendered, leather, kink friendly folk. That sounds like quite a mouthful, I know, but don't you believe as I do in variety being the spice of life?
3. You hold the party in a place that is pleasant to hang in. It seems a terrible waste to throw a sex party in a funky place that's ill-suited to accommodate the night's festivities, either because the place is too small, not well-heated or it is poorly set up, i.e. not enough "horizontal space", or no "dungeon" room for the BDSM crowd, where they can enjoy themselves. And believe me, this crowd enjoys itself, they need a whole room of their own.
4. A modest amount of pleasant food. After all, we are not here for food, but you need a reve up in energy if you are going to be going at it like rabbits for a good portion of the night. I like little nibbles of food - bits of apple, strawberries, cheeses, lots of non-alcoholic drinks, and plenty of plain old water.
5. A modest amount of drink. The higher priced parties sometimes serve alcohol. Drugs are almost universally NOT ok, although I think a discreet amount of pot smoking may be taking place.
6. You try and separate the guests from their clothes almost as soon as they walk in the door. In fact, often you are required to take it off AS you check in. Usually they give you an option: either erotic attire, or you run around in your birthday suit. Sometimes they allow the girls more leeway as to what they can wear, and they require the guys to get butt naked. Now I like those parties!
7. Good parking! A most important thing in whether it is a good party or not. What, you're already scoffing at this one? Come back and talk to me after you've tried finding a place to park that Hummer in the Mission District of San Francisco on a Saturday night and it's pouring rain. You have to stand a reasonable chance, in your lifetime please, of finding a parking place decently close by.
TO BE CONTINUED
