Monday, August 15, 2005
Dyke Talk
Last night I finally got to meet L, who came down with her friend V to our local girlie bar. L and I have corresponded for several months via email, and found we had lots in common. We decided we wanted to meet.
L is early 50s, in great shape, V is a little older, not quite as slim, but not bad looking either, Jewish, rather interesting.
They already know about my precarious lifestyle. I live with a bisexual guy, have for many years. So that becomes a topic of conversation, of course.
The questions went like this:
1) So why are you looking for a woman, when you already have a male partner? Why do you want more?
2) Since he goes to bathhouses for his male fun, don't you and he use condoms when you are together?
3) What exactly are you hoping to find in women, and how do you visualize the relationship developing?
I don't mind the questions, perfectly natural given the situation. It helps me to sharpen my own ideas about what I want out of girlie dating. I find I am constantly doing this anyway. So these were my answers...
1) Greed, in a word. I am a greedy little bitch. I am Oliver, walking up to the headmaster, bowl in hand...."please sir (or ma'am, in this case), can't I have more?" Who decided for us that we should only hunker down with one mate? I have settled a lot of my issues with men when I met D; now I want to scratch the Woman Itch, which has been driving me off and on for much of my life. Having been so lucky in finding a great male mate, I am now, more than ever, hellbent to find The Female. I feel it's almost a balance thing. You try to establish, in your own mind, the two poles, male and female.
2) D and I certainly used condoms during much of the first year we got together. Then we had our HIV tests, we played it by the book before we finally lost the condoms. L seemed rather surprised, dare I say shocked even, that he goes to bathhouses, has protected sex with men, then comes home and has UNPROTECTED sex with me. Condoms are not foolproof, I say to them. But we try. And we succeed, given our safety record of being together 15 years now.
3) I hope to find a woman as easy to deal with as D has been for me. Would we all be under one roof? Don't know, I haven't been down this road before, and each case I hear of appears quite unique. So we would have to feel our way, so to speak, and find what works for us. Right now I think it better if The Woman be quite independent, she has her own life, her own living space. I would love to spend lots of time in that space, but it doesn't have to be a permanent thing. Uhauling does not appeal to me, in any form. I can visualize going on trips with her, long weekends away together. Physical enjoyment is at the top of my list. I want intensity, and am not afraid of that anymore. Threesomes? Not looking for that, D is really not into that many other women, unless they are like me in attitude. Of course he would like to meet and socialize a bit with her, if for no other reason than ascertaining she is not a loony.
L is early 50s, in great shape, V is a little older, not quite as slim, but not bad looking either, Jewish, rather interesting.
They already know about my precarious lifestyle. I live with a bisexual guy, have for many years. So that becomes a topic of conversation, of course.
The questions went like this:
1) So why are you looking for a woman, when you already have a male partner? Why do you want more?
2) Since he goes to bathhouses for his male fun, don't you and he use condoms when you are together?
3) What exactly are you hoping to find in women, and how do you visualize the relationship developing?
I don't mind the questions, perfectly natural given the situation. It helps me to sharpen my own ideas about what I want out of girlie dating. I find I am constantly doing this anyway. So these were my answers...
1) Greed, in a word. I am a greedy little bitch. I am Oliver, walking up to the headmaster, bowl in hand...."please sir (or ma'am, in this case), can't I have more?" Who decided for us that we should only hunker down with one mate? I have settled a lot of my issues with men when I met D; now I want to scratch the Woman Itch, which has been driving me off and on for much of my life. Having been so lucky in finding a great male mate, I am now, more than ever, hellbent to find The Female. I feel it's almost a balance thing. You try to establish, in your own mind, the two poles, male and female.
2) D and I certainly used condoms during much of the first year we got together. Then we had our HIV tests, we played it by the book before we finally lost the condoms. L seemed rather surprised, dare I say shocked even, that he goes to bathhouses, has protected sex with men, then comes home and has UNPROTECTED sex with me. Condoms are not foolproof, I say to them. But we try. And we succeed, given our safety record of being together 15 years now.
3) I hope to find a woman as easy to deal with as D has been for me. Would we all be under one roof? Don't know, I haven't been down this road before, and each case I hear of appears quite unique. So we would have to feel our way, so to speak, and find what works for us. Right now I think it better if The Woman be quite independent, she has her own life, her own living space. I would love to spend lots of time in that space, but it doesn't have to be a permanent thing. Uhauling does not appeal to me, in any form. I can visualize going on trips with her, long weekends away together. Physical enjoyment is at the top of my list. I want intensity, and am not afraid of that anymore. Threesomes? Not looking for that, D is really not into that many other women, unless they are like me in attitude. Of course he would like to meet and socialize a bit with her, if for no other reason than ascertaining she is not a loony.
