Monday, October 24, 2005
Fit To Be Tied (Pt.5)
We are visiting the Citadel, a bondage club in San Francisco, for a "queer play party." Having described much of this place in less than flattering terms, you may ask, would we go back to this party? I am unsure, because I am unsure where I could fit into this whole "scene." Maybe I need a woman to take me under her wing - or whipping arm, if you will - and introduce me to the joys and tribulations. Right now, I am not sure who I would be there. I am willing to explore, but I am really a person not into physical pain. I've had enough of that, and I can't visualize getting aroused by pain per se. Maybe there's another way into this scene for me. I need to understand more the kind of head it takes to do this stuff.
My intuition is that I am probably opposed to it, I take too direct an approach to sex when I play with D. More the way another man would be. I am reading Camille Paglia these days, and in her "Sexual Personae" book she argues that women cannot emotionally fetishize to nearly the same degree that males can. So this "scene" will probably always seem more an arena for males to enjoy than other women. Of course I am always happy and often thrilled to be proved wrong(!)
So after D and I spend several hours roaming around this rather large arena, wondering how and what we should be doing here, we debate whether we want to go off somewhere a little more private. We suddenly got the novel idea of having REAL sex! Oh my God, what a thought.
The only room though set up for this is way off in a corner, with just a bed and a heater. Not too inspiring, since it's apparent we will have to turn the heater on and come back later. The room is freezing. When we return later, we discover two girls there, sitting on the bed, talking. Negotiations, or just chat? Hard to tell, we leave them to it. We decide against having sex anywhere else, it would probably scare the other patrons. And anyway, the mood is fast leaving us behind now.
The oddness of the whole evening is rather offputting. This is too cool, too distant, too studied. But then, maybe it has to be. You need to take a little thought before you end up killing your partner.
But a good old-fashioned orgy of people in a pile in a room. Well, that's something else, and we've decided that's what we really prefer.
My friend L, a bi woman now paired with an FTM, keeps chiding me for putting down BDSM activities. "There's more to sex than just fucking, for Christ's sake," she often yells at me when we debate this topic. Well, having thought about the matter some, I have to say, for me there is only fucking right now. At least for this point in time. Playing with a cat-o-nine tails could be foreplay I suppose, but it has to go somewhere. I don't want to wait until I get home to get fucked, drawing on my stored up memories of the evening's entertainment at this club.
If it's "play" you want, then come on over. But if want actual sex, you would be happier probably somewhere else.
TO BE CONTINUED
My intuition is that I am probably opposed to it, I take too direct an approach to sex when I play with D. More the way another man would be. I am reading Camille Paglia these days, and in her "Sexual Personae" book she argues that women cannot emotionally fetishize to nearly the same degree that males can. So this "scene" will probably always seem more an arena for males to enjoy than other women. Of course I am always happy and often thrilled to be proved wrong(!)
So after D and I spend several hours roaming around this rather large arena, wondering how and what we should be doing here, we debate whether we want to go off somewhere a little more private. We suddenly got the novel idea of having REAL sex! Oh my God, what a thought.
The only room though set up for this is way off in a corner, with just a bed and a heater. Not too inspiring, since it's apparent we will have to turn the heater on and come back later. The room is freezing. When we return later, we discover two girls there, sitting on the bed, talking. Negotiations, or just chat? Hard to tell, we leave them to it. We decide against having sex anywhere else, it would probably scare the other patrons. And anyway, the mood is fast leaving us behind now.
The oddness of the whole evening is rather offputting. This is too cool, too distant, too studied. But then, maybe it has to be. You need to take a little thought before you end up killing your partner.
But a good old-fashioned orgy of people in a pile in a room. Well, that's something else, and we've decided that's what we really prefer.
My friend L, a bi woman now paired with an FTM, keeps chiding me for putting down BDSM activities. "There's more to sex than just fucking, for Christ's sake," she often yells at me when we debate this topic. Well, having thought about the matter some, I have to say, for me there is only fucking right now. At least for this point in time. Playing with a cat-o-nine tails could be foreplay I suppose, but it has to go somewhere. I don't want to wait until I get home to get fucked, drawing on my stored up memories of the evening's entertainment at this club.
If it's "play" you want, then come on over. But if want actual sex, you would be happier probably somewhere else.
TO BE CONTINUED
