Monday, October 03, 2005
Loves Carbs, Devours Red Meat, Inhales
Dating women can send a girl around the bend. Now I understand how men often feel dealing with us. Sometimes - in a fit of funk, feeblemindedness, or just female loathing - I let fly with another personal ad, usually on Craigslist.
Here is one of them.
"Sarcastic, superfit older miscreant seeking sarcastic, physically fit but mentally questionable types, for useless bouts of hanging out, sneaking into artsy-fartsy foreign movies on one ticket and one ticket alone, scoping out nude beaches and tormenting Republicans. Along the way I can cook and feed you rather nice meals, rub your aching muscles (yes you should have some, and yes, they will ache after time spent with moi). I'm told I don't look or act my age, so with any decent luck you won't be the one to take up the slack.
5'6" almost, 118 pounds, lean tanned build, curly short blonde hair with no gray, thanks for asking anyway you're so sweet, piercing blue eyes. Swedish genes on one side, English on the other. Funny, that combo promises (usually) a sense of balance and decorum, neither of which I am happy to say that I possess. Not even a good scrap of Swedish furniture for you to sit down on, unless you're into Ikea.
To make matters worse (or to thicken the stew, depending how twisted you are), there's a younger Jew Boy in the mix too, also a Pole-Sitter. He hovers attentively in the B.G., packs my sex toys for me when I run out the door for my girlie rendezvous, but he won't bother you unless you insist on it. And knowing you, you probably won't. This is ok with me. He takes the high road and I the low. Somewhere Scotland awaits us. I'm Gemini, so don't bother telling me how bisexual I am, I know that already. Having discovered my mom's veggie section of the fridge at an early age (especially those fetching zucchinis), it was only a matter of time before hordes of men landed on my cute little ass.
Now I'm ready for the hordes of women.
I run around a lot doing disgustingly physical activities. You don't even want to know, but that's how I look so good. You should try it too. In amonst the Banana Boat SPF 15 and the Speedos, you will find a wild assortment of books, magazines, DVDs, art posters. Sex toys too. Eclectic and wide-ranging tastes, much of it in her mouth but nevermind. Berkeley grad, the infamous class of '69. Literature, followed by another equally useless degree in film writing at the AFI. Followed by several Grande Tours of Europe, the Middle East and Asia, where I lived, loved, worked and fleshed out those more atavistic impulses that you can never quite scratch on home turf.
After decades in L.A. hanging with film types, bicycle junkies and the really really useless crowds that hang in L.A., I've decided to head back to My Roots. I miss the Berkeley babes, they get me better up here. Looking to meet types with an attitude, who range all over the butch-femme-andro spectrum, who like energetic and physical lovemaking and can hold their own in any social setting. You don't have to be bi, or strictly gay, age is open too. Just understand that this is a woman seeking other women, so if you have a guy too hooray for your side, but check him at the door.
Cheers!
- - - - - - -
Here is one of them.
"Sarcastic, superfit older miscreant seeking sarcastic, physically fit but mentally questionable types, for useless bouts of hanging out, sneaking into artsy-fartsy foreign movies on one ticket and one ticket alone, scoping out nude beaches and tormenting Republicans. Along the way I can cook and feed you rather nice meals, rub your aching muscles (yes you should have some, and yes, they will ache after time spent with moi). I'm told I don't look or act my age, so with any decent luck you won't be the one to take up the slack.
5'6" almost, 118 pounds, lean tanned build, curly short blonde hair with no gray, thanks for asking anyway you're so sweet, piercing blue eyes. Swedish genes on one side, English on the other. Funny, that combo promises (usually) a sense of balance and decorum, neither of which I am happy to say that I possess. Not even a good scrap of Swedish furniture for you to sit down on, unless you're into Ikea.
To make matters worse (or to thicken the stew, depending how twisted you are), there's a younger Jew Boy in the mix too, also a Pole-Sitter. He hovers attentively in the B.G., packs my sex toys for me when I run out the door for my girlie rendezvous, but he won't bother you unless you insist on it. And knowing you, you probably won't. This is ok with me. He takes the high road and I the low. Somewhere Scotland awaits us. I'm Gemini, so don't bother telling me how bisexual I am, I know that already. Having discovered my mom's veggie section of the fridge at an early age (especially those fetching zucchinis), it was only a matter of time before hordes of men landed on my cute little ass.
Now I'm ready for the hordes of women.
I run around a lot doing disgustingly physical activities. You don't even want to know, but that's how I look so good. You should try it too. In amonst the Banana Boat SPF 15 and the Speedos, you will find a wild assortment of books, magazines, DVDs, art posters. Sex toys too. Eclectic and wide-ranging tastes, much of it in her mouth but nevermind. Berkeley grad, the infamous class of '69. Literature, followed by another equally useless degree in film writing at the AFI. Followed by several Grande Tours of Europe, the Middle East and Asia, where I lived, loved, worked and fleshed out those more atavistic impulses that you can never quite scratch on home turf.
After decades in L.A. hanging with film types, bicycle junkies and the really really useless crowds that hang in L.A., I've decided to head back to My Roots. I miss the Berkeley babes, they get me better up here. Looking to meet types with an attitude, who range all over the butch-femme-andro spectrum, who like energetic and physical lovemaking and can hold their own in any social setting. You don't have to be bi, or strictly gay, age is open too. Just understand that this is a woman seeking other women, so if you have a guy too hooray for your side, but check him at the door.
Cheers!
- - - - - - -
