California Reaming - A Woman's Adventures In Polyamory

What IS the best orgasm ever? I like to pester friends with this question, because I think the answer can change over time and space. Over genders too. And depending if you have a partner or not. Or maybe two or three or a room full.

For me the perfect orgasm probably includes a touch of the extraordinary. Something from out of the blue.

One of my more spectacular "Big O's" occurred shortly after I first got to Berkeley. I was seriously identified as a dyke by now, but every now and then I would get a yen to have a good swift poke with a male person.

So one day I answered a guy's personal ad in the Berkeley Barb free press, we met for coffee, we decided we could deal with each other. We went back to his residential hotel and proceeded to fuck ourselves silly.

This was only the second man I had been with, and I knew going in that this was going to be a much more rewarding experience than the first time.

Condoms? What's that? I knew it was a good time of the month for me, so away we went. Life was simple back then. We didn't even worry about diseases.

My guy was a banker, with neatly trimmed blond hair and wire-rimmed glasses. He was horny as hell and I could sense he would come sooner rather than later. I could feel him come inside of me, and even though he tried to stay in he was starting to slip away from me.

Just as he escaped, I started to come. The effect was so startling it knocked out everything else in the room for me. Suddenly I could feel my muscles closing around on...nothing. Just gripping the air inside my body. It was mindboggling, because there was no resistance being offered, there was no penis there for my muscles to engage around.

It was one of the strangest, most unique orgasms I have ever had. My banker and I had sex two more times that night, and I came both of those times too. But for some reason, that first one was the real charm, the thing I remember about that night.

All those muscles contracting, of their own accord, in a space all their own.

But good orgasms weren't going to be enough to keep me around if the guy wanted to start getting cosier with me. Like this one did. He wanted to start dating, and that's when I said bye bye.

I don't even remember his name, and yet he provided me with one of the more intense sexual experiences of my life.

- - - - - - -

We're back in the SOMA district of San Francisco for an all-girl sex party which occurred last weekend. There were around fifty women, plus a few worker bees, myself included. My task was to be Safety Monitor, checking up that everyone is practicing safe sex. I knew when I volunteered that it would be a good gig. Not much to do, as I expected not many women would be playing.

And why weren't they? Most of them seemed to know each other, but most of them are femme, maybe they just have trouble approaching other women. There were butch-looking women, but the two groups didn't seem to be mingling.

At an early point in the evening I hooked up with a woman I did know slightly, N is her name. Attractive, femme, maybe late 30s to early 40s, with a husband at home I have never met and a son around 13. She identifies as a polyamorous and a bisexual woman.

N wants to do some erotic massage at the party this night, and I decide to grab the last slot in her datebook right when I get off "duty." But since the other women don't seem terribly anxious about signing up and getting the play under way, N suggests I move my time up. Since I am supposed to be working, I figure I should clear this first with the hostess. But N says she's done that already. Cool! A woman who actually wants to get down to business! I'm in love already. Or is it just lust? I like this N. She is funny and quirky and a little ditsy as I can be.

So off we go, she has me lie down on a single futon upstairs, in the "play area." She sits cross-legged beside me, so her right hand can rest on my clit, while her left hand rests with the thumb at the entrance to my vagina. With her latex gloves on and a bit of lube, she starts lightly massaging my clit with just one finger. It feels really swell, not hurried, no heavy pressure, totally relaxing. Of course as she moves along I start to feel like maybe this could go somewhere, I hadn't set out to get myself off, but now that we're here.....or on the brink....

N asks if I want it faster, or harder, or anything different, but I reply I am quite happy. I love the subtle indirectness of the sensations. N will not attempt penetration with her other hand unless a) the person directly asks for it, or b) the thumb just "slips" in, as we suppose thumbs are want to do sometimes.

In the midst of my increasing interest in my new-found friend, I discover another couple has joined us upstairs. A somewhat butch woman and her femmer associate. Well thank God some of those troops crossed lines and fraternized!

But where is everyone else? The party started about nine, it is now after ten, and N and I have the honors (still) of being the only people playing.

I am really getting turned on with N's finger going about its business, and I decide I am going to cum with this. She makes comments to me as she works, noting the heat coming from my pubic area. Don't burn yourself, little girl, I want to say. It's been a long time since I was diddled by another woman and it feels wonderful. There is more to life than fucking, happy to say.

I thank N profusely, and smiling offer to return the favors when she is done later on.
She seems very pleased with the offer, but later on people get into the swing of things, and N finds herself busy. I will catch her at another party. This is one woman I like a good deal, we may have some things in common. At every event of this social group I've attended, N has been there.

Was there any other play? Later on I migrate back upstairs, and discover three scenes going on. I plop myself down on the free sofa with another woman, and we watch. Having gotten off already, it feels lazily luxurious to watch other people, and recount your own feelings of sexuality.

Several of N's friends and their friends are playing on one futon, three of them, they are all attractive to me. One of them is really thin, with tits even flatter than mine. A real carpenter's dream, as they say, flat as a board and easy to nail. I love that look. At the next party I am going to work my way into this group. These are quirky girls who don't look ultra-femme but aren't die-hard butches either. Somewhat androgynous middle grounders, I call them.

On another mattress is a really striking couple: a tall, lean older woman, with shoulder length grey-blonde hair, getting fucked by her much younger top. A femme looking girl but with a really short haircut and definitely a butch manner. They are locked in a close embrace, the femme has some kind of solid-looking harness around her waist, really wide and hefty-appearing, and she's grinding her hips close atop the older woman's hips. She pulls the woman's nipples rather aggressively as she fucks her. Hot damn! I could watch these two all night! Somewhere, there's some younger woman out there for me, I know it. Whether I really want that or not, I am not sure of. Just looking around for now, thanks. Nothing wrong with the older woman either, I feel myself looking at her a lot.

So, down to business now, and the key question: would we want to go back to this party? Yes, I would, because there is potential there. At each party now, I am finding my comfort level, exploring new ways of getting off, feeling the attraction to different types of people. I try to set reasonable goals at each party, so each goal takes me a little further along the road to...what, happy sex-party going? One supposes.

But at one point on this night, I had the sudden sensation of being back in high school, at the prom, when the girls would all be seated in a row, waiting for a guy to ask them to dance. Literally, we had about eight women seated in separate chairs, all in a row.

Waiting to be taken, we suppose. Maybe next time we should ship in a truckload of hard-core butches, and arrange for them to do just that.

Who says girls can't stage a Gang-Bang?

- - - - - - - - -

My friend A threw an all-girl sex party the other night, and I want to tell you a little about it. A is a big big woman with a vibrant personality, and she has managed to pull together a bisexual women's social group here in San Francisco.

The party took place just south of Market, on a narrow and rather scary-looking street. Homeless guys, layabout types and clubgoers all seem to exist in this area, more or less happily. I take a drive around the block, wondering where I can chance parking. There's a place right in front of the building, but I don't like the street, so I park on the well lit one at the end of the block, and walk carefully to the house.

Once you're inside the place, it's like a completely different world. High-techy place, with tall ceilings and a pleasant atmosphere. Downstairs is for socializing and snacking. Here there is also a small bedroom for coats and porn watching, and a living room at the far end with a sofa and futon. People can dance here and make out, but the more serious action takes place upstairs.

Since this is a bisexual group, there is a certain flavor to the women. Many of us are attached to male persons, but we know pretty much that we love the other half too. Does this give women a certain "look?" Or style? I believe it does.

These are femme women, for the most part. Girls you can tell who love to put on their lacy lingerie and high heels and parade around. And because the group founder is a big girl, that sets a certain tone also. Many of the girls are big, but enjoyably so. Such is not often the case at these parties, as you have heard me complain about before.

How do you get big girls who are actually enjoyable? It's the style with which they carry it off. It says to the audience, "I am big but I am beautiful and I like it, now get outta da way." They have balls, chutzpah, the personality, or whatever you want to term it. Somehow it allows them to carry it off.

I can't help noticing though that some of these women have boobs as big as my little butt. Some of them were really more like bowling balls they were so huge. So, at the risk of sounding churlish, what on earth does one DO with boobs this big? If you're a woman, that is. I know guys like to rub their dicks in amongst the mountains, what else is new. But what do women do with big boobs when they're worn by other women?

Drop me a line someone and enlighten me. Once I had the bright idea that a really creative babe could insert her breast at least partially into another woman's vagina. This would depend on the breast, I suppose, and how small/big or firm/loose it was. But I have yet to test my theory.

There was another, smaller group of women. These were the butches, the ones with the short hair, the dumpy outfits. In general a totally different vibe. I am curious as to how they arrived here tonight. My hunch is that A happened to be selling tickets for this party at a particular lesbian bar in San Francisco noted for its butch clientele, and some of them picked up on the news.

A girlie sex party is news, so this undoubtedly got the girls' interest. A lot of them would probably never want to date bi women in any serious way. But hell, a sex party? That's different, it's a one-time thing, not a U-Haul franchise, so they would feel OK in joining in.

But the problem at the party was, the butch girls were not exactly beating a door to the femmes. I don't know why, but they weren't. The two groups stayed by themselves. It was probably a play on what happens at hetero parties, where the guys sometimes fade into the woodwork in the presence of dolled up babes who babble on together in their own little world of fashion and shopping and whatever else they happen to be into.

There were other types of women present too. The ones my partner Dave refers to as "quirky girls," with the odd looks, usually arresting, usually older, more often slimmer than not. It's all my fault, I know, he says I have ruined him for younger women. Or even those his own age. So sue me.

There were a few black girls present, and they held their own well. So overall this party had good diversity. My friend A was aiming for around 50 women, and she got them, although some of them did not show up. The tickets were something of a hassle for the women to purchase, as A wanted to sell the tickets herself so she could meet each person. You have to do that if you're throwing a party - in someone else's nice house - and you want to keep control of things. Screening is a necessity.

The entry fee was also complicated by a rather detailed listing of party do's and dont's which were handed out to participants when they rsvp'd themselves. A really wanted to make sure that the rules were clear and able to be followed.

Again, it's not that this is anything unusual or new for a sex party. There are always rules. It's just that these seemed more rigorous than usual. I had offered to volunteer to work the party, so A assigned me the task of Safety Monitor.

The S.M. gets to roam about the Bower of Bliss, shining her flashlight into the eyes of lust-induced females and onto their private parts, to ascertain all the children are playing nicely - and safely - together.

Well, except I wasn't given a flashlight. It wasn't needed anyways. The girls, unfortunately, were entirely too well behaved.

TO BE CONTINUED

Recently Dave and I ran across an interesting personal ad on Craigslist. It was written in response to an earlier personal ad.

The original ad apparently started like this...

"Re: Want a girl to join me and my boyfriend for a day at a hotel..."

It was posted under W4W, and like many couples searching Craigslist for a woman for a threesome, they got flamed by this woman below...

"Hello, I'm Julie, your Cruise Director, and I just want you to know you'll find exactly what you're looking for over in Casual Encounters. If you don't find anything there to suit your needs, then may I suggest Erotic Services.

Thank you. Have a nice day."

Dave and I sprang instantly into readiness, and we wrote back to the woman, whom we felt destiny had called upon us to fuck silly. And vice versa.

We wrote: "Hey, Julie, ya wanna come over and be our Cruise Director? You can take me all ways with your strap-on (me being blonde, athletic, good-looking, nice legs). Then you can bend over my little queer friend here, 6' 160, shaved head, and fuck him like no man ever has.

What say you?"

We did not hear back from Julie. That was sad. She sounded just our type. A manly woman.

- - - - - - - -

Last week was Dave's birthday, and I am creating my little erotic scenario for him. Here's where we are so far...

I start with you in the shower, you're making yourself as clean as possible so that I may make you as dirty as possible.

When you emerge from your bath, I place a bowl of cherries in front of you on the floor, and force you to kneel beside them. It's only because I am being good to you that I let you watch me, as I insert one cherry after another up my pussy. Then I handcuff your hands behind your back, and force you as I continue standing to eat the cherries out, one at a time.

Since you're still handcuffed, it will be easy to move you over and drape your belly over the preacher curl on the gym, so I can play with your backside. Using the flog, I start to whip you lightly, over your ass, your back and down the legs. With each pass, I start to vary the pressure, growing harder with each blow, then making it soft.

I talk to you, I ask if you know what you are being punished this way. You agree that you have been thoroughly bad, and need to be whipped. I oblige you. The pain increases from the whip, until you start begging for me to lay off.

If I am feeling especially good about life, I'll leave off the flog and run my hand over you. Just for contrast. Do not, repeat, NOT get attached to it. It's just meant to keep you off-balance.

I undo the handcuffs in order that you can put on your leather accoutrements, your collar, your cockstrap. Now I position you on your stomach over the small table, so your butt is in the air. I put on my harness with dildo and proceed to slap you with it. I weave my hands in as well, slapping your butt, and - more lightly - slapping your balls from behind as they hang down.

As I lube your butt, I start playing with the dildo around your anus, tempting you, teasing. Putting just the head in, then taking it out.

"Give me some more," you beg. You are ignored. Then I amuse myself rubbing my body against your backside. The leather from the harness and the studs bore into your flesh.

I take the small electric butt plug, and give you a taste of it. I let you lubricate it, then I insert it inside your bum. As I turn it on, I reach around and play with your firmly gathering cock, and balls, until you're almost ready to come.

Then I abruptly stop, and flip you over on your back. I tie your hands overhead to the gym legs. Then I take off my harness with dildo and I start to sit on top of you, sliding your big dick inside my pussy. I'm ready for whatever, but still I'm not going to let myself come right away.

I take some time riding you, grinding my hips over you, pulling and slapping your nipples as I do. I remove your dick from inside me, then I reinsert it. You want to come but I am not going to let you.

Yet.

To show you my independence, I strap the dildo onto you. I begin to ride it. I can grind the dildo to my heart's content. I don't need to worry about long strokes with you, a male. Because I don't give a fig. It's not about you anyway, and I tell you so. You have no choice but to agree.

You're my Hot Babe and mentally I am fucking her as I ride the dildo. Finally I let myself come on top of you.

Now I'll take my harness and toy back, thank you very much. I put them on me again. I order you to roll over on your stomach, after first removing the handcuffs so you can do this.

Now I do allow you to play with yourself, as I mount you from behind and fuck you with the strap-on. You are happy beyond belief as I ride you, sometimes slowly, sometimes faster, harder and then softer, always keeping you off balance.

When you seem to have had enough, I finally give you permission to come. You oblige. I let you clean the dildo with your mouth.

Shower.
Cocktails.

- - - - - - -

Dave and I are constructing little adventures for ourselves. This is what he has in store for me....

"You arrive home after your long bike ride pleasantly charged. You peel off your damp clothes and pee. Your body is glistening with sweat and the scent of your pussy and pits begins to fill your nostrils as you stand by silently awaiting orders. Since I feel you're old enough, I allow you to adorn yourself with the collar, wrist and ankle bracelets.

You stand. I attach the rod to the ankle straps, keeping your toned legs apart.

"Touch yourself," I command. "Spread your lips and rub that big clit."

"Yes sir." You always respond with "Sir." I inspect you. You feel my hand on the small of your back, slowly moving up between the shoulder blades. I touch the back of your neck as I smell you. What a beautiful stink. I blindfold you. Then you start masturbating as I tell you about just how bad you've been. I put you on your knees and you sense something is about to happen.

The cloud of unknowing.

"Don't stop rubbing, blonde!"

"Open your fucking mouth!" My cock pushes into your mouth and you suck hard. I pull it out and slap your face with it. Back in it goes, out again. In. You slobber all over it. "Beg for it. Say 'I want to suck your cock.'"

I spit in your mouth and stuff your face. You're very good and I nearly cum. But I don't. I help you to stand. "Keep them spread until you're told."

I begin using the flog very lightly on the backs of your thighs. It's a series of tingles as I move up your left leg, across your ass, and down the right. Each time I approach your ass you get a little more excited. I hit each cheek slightly and move up, focusing on your back.

I bring a mirror in and position it so you can see your hairy pussy pried open. It's very wet, with a white cream moistening the hole. The flog skims across your chest and lingers at a nipple. I swat it, and then swat the other, beginning a rhythm. You stand holding your pubes, feeling the sting on your nips.

I move to the back again, and after I drift downwards to the butt again, I place down the flog. I tell you to rub your ass with both hands and you oblige. I kiss you deeply. I put something in your mouth to suck. You make your new toy nice and wet and warm and I take it out of your mouth and lube it and place it up your asshole. It goes in smoothly. The plug is not large at all and yet feels wonderfully full inside.

I put you on your back and shackle your arms above your head to the gym. I sit on your face and make you rim me. I pull on the rod attached to your ankles and spread you as if on a rack. I turn around and stick my hard dick into your hairy twat. I lean up and start to fuck you. You feel me in one end and the butt plug in the other. So full!

I work your clit and push your tits down. You're sweaty and slick and love the feelings. You start moaning as my bone crushes your sweet spot. I pull at your breasts and slap your exposed armpits, my cock in your smelly puss as your body begins to tremble.

"I'm gonna cum!" Your pussy shakes as you let out deep sounds. You're as taut as a teenager.

I flip you and pull the plug. I fuck your ass nice and cum inside, my hands around your throat.

I make you squat over your blue tub and fart the cum and debris out of your ass.

Then shower.
Cocktails.

TO BE CONTINUED
- - - - - -

Recently Dave and I attempted to find a guy to play with us. We resorted to our usual iniqitous ways and went right to Craigslist to post an ad. A handful of various people turned up nearly immediately. Thank God, the men are still a lot swifter on the uptake than the women I've tried dating on Craigslist. We sift through the ads, several flake out on us, but we arrange to meet G, a forty something guy who sends us his pix revealing a fit looking bod and a great looking dick. We're there.

But G gets nixed by my partner Dave the minute we lay eyes on him in front of our local bar. The guy looks really rough, with that battered, almost beery kind of look that says, "I luv my liquor, and it loves me." I was glad Dave took the lead in this, but he picked up right away that this guy probably didn't have a bisexual bone in his entire body. What would be the point from Dave's point of view? The guy is flying under false pretenses, he will pass himself off as bi because he wants to get close to the woman. One look at this guy and you could sense he would have a tough time landing a woman on his own. With a couple, much of the groundwork has already been done. You simply hitch a ride on their wagon.

Lately we've noticed this trend in a lot of the male persons we are meeting. Guys seem willing to try just about anything on these singles' boards. When we lived in L.A., we noticed the variety of men who called themselves bisexual. We thought it was some kind of fluke, at first. But now it feels like something is going on. There is always a lot of pressure to hook up with people, but hook ups that are mutually satisfying seem to be fewer and farther between these days.

My last therapist commented on this to me. Basically she noticed this trend too, via the stream of people filing in and out of her office. Since about 1990, she says, people have had a really hard time connecting. You hear the bitching about this on Craigslist all the time, especially under the "W4W" section. But men and women are having tough times too.

So, if a guy can't hook up easily, but he wants to get laid, what options does he have these days? We've offered some alternatives here, via sex parties, bath houses and threesomes.

We all know that many males frequent bath houses who are not strictly homosexual, but for a lot of guys that's just too gay.

Sex parties are a good alternative, most of the parties are hetero oriented, they could hook up with a woman there. If they want to spring big bucks to get in, and assuming the party allows single guys.

Threesomes would be the best way sometimes for a guy to get alongside a woman. And if they aren't very "gay" around the edges, well, that can be accommodated too. As long as the other male is not too demanding in what he wants. After all, any normal red-blooded guy could close his eyes and allow his dick to get sucked by another male. And less frequently perhaps he would suck another guy off, maybe even top him too. We find most of them want to draw the line when it comes to their taking it up the bum.

Dave and I decided we wanted to bypass this group of males. We want to try for something different, like advertising under M4M on Craigslist. This way we are likely to get a guy who is more interested initially in Dave rather than me. But he can deal with me also. It's just the emphasis will be shifted from two men mostly clustered around the woman, to two men attracted to each other in the foreground and the woman a little more receding.

We think that is an equation worth exploring. We know already that a couple posting on the M4M board is far more likely to land a genuinely bisexual male than the "Casual Encounters" section, which teems with straight guys looking to hook up with M/F couples.

Who knows, we may even have a "queer" experience.

- - - - - -

Recently we lost the Black Sheets sex parties here in San Francisco. They decided to take a break from things, so various and sundry persons were eager to fill the void they left. One crowd got together, someone knew the new owners of the men's bath house, Eros, and they managed to rent the place for a night for a private sex party.

We approve of the move to start such a new party, and while it mostly came together as planned there are a few issues that need addressing to make it better next time.

The guy who put this together asked for feedback after it was over, and Dave and I added our two cents. Big mistake it seemed, as the guy posted my comments on his club site. Various friends of his, who were also in attendance, flamed me good.

Why? Well, all because of the Whales. Whale is a term I picked up from my friend A, it describes big big big people, women in particular as they are usually the prime offenders. You've heard me rant and rave before about some of the huge women who attend these parties. They are an eyesore, and I had no problem saying so. Many people took offense. I responded that I think there is a place at a sex party for big people, they do get action at these parties, although I doubt if they do otherwise. But why do they have to be overwhelmingly fat? And this is the case. Can't we get a few other types of women to attend?

The guy in charge wrote back to say, bring your friends if you want. But my friends I know would not want to be at this party. They are not chubby chasers. They tend to be lean and fit and they want to find scenes with other lean and fit people. If I were balling my friends, which I am not, usually, not on any steady basis, then I would not be needing Eros, would I?

Since any good sex party will ascertain ahead of time, either by questionnaire or something similar, what types of people they are getting, why not add another category? Along with gender, sexual orientation and your experience with prior parties. That category would be how each guest would characterize themselves physically.

If I were a guy, cruising around for info on what sex parties I should think about spending my bucks on, I would want to know a bit about those parties ahead of time. Like who attends, is it more male than female, are the people attractive, or at least a good mix of all sorts of types.

You would not want to attend a party like this unless you are really into heterosexual chubby chasing. Because that's what you would have gotten here.

Unfortunately, this party had an outstanding number of fat women. There were two of us who were thin. Me and a woman named B apparently. We discovered this later. Our friend A pounced on her in a hurry and absconded with her svelte person. They have known each other for a while, and have played together over the years. She is married, her guy attends these parties too, but tonight he was elsewhere apparently.

Dave was disappointed because the queer guys were really not here tonight, and the ones who were queer, or seemingly gay, were heading for the door about the time we were.

We all expected something akin to a Black Sheets party, lots of queerness, more variety of types of people, more faggots in attendance, and certainly better music. The Eros party had a really strange mix of music. Everyone yelled later about that, so you can bet the music will be addressed.

The fat women? I don't know. For me, it is more than just an issue of fatness. Just recently I had a conversation with a player who feels the same way I do. "There are a lot of issues going on with them besides just the bigness stuff," he tells me. You get a whole can of worms too. I could sense that coming through as I read the web page and all the comments from (surprise) the big women in attendance.

So, why do I say there may be hope though for this party? Because hopefully they will attract a wider variety of people. Hopefully they will persuade the Eros owners to create a community play space. The nooks and crannies at Eros are cool and nice for twosomes, but if you want to invite a few other people over there's simply not enough larger play spaces. More and larger play areas. Not just cutsey bunk beds.

Did people fuck? A few of us did. Where A took his thin little honeybunch I dunno, it was a really SECRET hiding place I guess.

At one point Dave had me up against the railing by a bunk bed and was taking me from behind, me about a foot off the ground hanging onto the slates of the boards and he standing up behind me. He said it was a great visual. I could look through the slats and realize we had drawn a small crowd. People are always cruising and milling around at these events, checking out the action. Someone said, "Gee, this must be where everyone fucks," said one wag facetiously.

Some of the people we recognized from other parties. But apparently the mood was pretty consistent at the end: we need to have more of the Black Sheets flavor next time.

Better music, better variety of people, more queerness.

We appreciate their effort, we want more next time.

- - - - - - - -