Thursday, April 20, 2006
Going Out With "B" (Pt.1)
A year ago last November I met "B," a gay woman in her early 40s who was in the same all-female hiking group I joined. I did not feel any attraction at first, especially given that I arrived on the first hike with another bi woman, and we found basically a hiking group of dykes, pretty much. We felt our chances of hooking up might be pretty compromised by that. In fact B made a remark about all the bi women posting under W4W on Craigslist, and whether or not they should even be posting there when most of the women are dykes otherwise on those boards. So I began to feel she was pretty much a hardcore dyke who did not care for bi women.
But as time went on, and she and I talked and walked and walked and talked, I got the sense she knew me from somewhere. It turned out she recognized me from my personal ads online, which tend to be very distinctive. B started making cute jokes about "pole-sitters," my term for bisexual people and whatnot, so I finally asked her if she had answered any of my ads. She did, one of them, I answered back apparently but then nothing further happened. I don't remember why. But it seemed like B was interested in dating, but then changed her mind.
Then we met in person(!) Small world, huh. Now we start with this undercurrent of flirting going on, and I gradually become aware that B is emailing me a lot, like, nearly every day. We start flirting and revealing more about our lives. I tell her about my break-up with J, the Berkeley woman I had met nearly seven months earlier. I mentioned how hurt I was when J ended our connection, I even told her about the strange mental blackout I had while I was spending a weekend with J. B seemed curious, and interested. We were on our way to forming a good and open friendship.
I wanted B to know, even though I am bisexual, that I am not a flake who's just scoping out women to throw into bed with her boyfriend. I tend to get rather apologetic around these women, and I will bend over backwards to reassure them. B did not seem to need the reassurance, but she got it anyway.
Then I tell B about my interest in going with Dave to sex parties. She's quite intrigued, and even asks me what I do at these parties. Then she sends me an email saying, "Well, I'd like to come on to you at a sex party...with your permission, of course..."
Upon reading this, I fly back with, "Dammit woman, you'd fucking better come on to me at a sex party or I will be so disappointed, and so will my mother and she probably won't ever let me play with you again, hrumph." Or some such phrasing. B laughs her head off at this. She finds me interesting and amusing, and I get the sense she is definitely attracted. But where do we go from here?
B lives with her ex, a pleasant woman named M who I have met on the group hikes. But they have no sex anymore, and are together basically because of the joint property they own and all their aged animals. This arrangement has worked because B and M have not really tried to look for other people. My coming along represents a bit of a change for B.
Yeah, I know I know, people tell you, "Don't hook up with women who are still living with their ex's." But since I knew both women, I could see the deal and understand it, I thought. B seemed free and clear to me.
More time passes, we are into the new year now, and getting more flirtatious. Then B proposes a date, she has just bought a snazzy new-used, bright red BMW and we tool up to San Francisco to take in the film, Vera Drake. And why not take an ex-Catholic girl to see a film about an abortionist? said I.
We really seem to get along. I find B very easy to deal with. She really appreciates my strange sense of humor, and that's worth a ton to me.
But where do we go from the movie? Well, next up on B's list of "Things To Do" is visiting a local hot tub establishment.
Okay, we all know what THIS means. I think I'm going to get laid. What do you think?
TO BE CONTINUED
But as time went on, and she and I talked and walked and walked and talked, I got the sense she knew me from somewhere. It turned out she recognized me from my personal ads online, which tend to be very distinctive. B started making cute jokes about "pole-sitters," my term for bisexual people and whatnot, so I finally asked her if she had answered any of my ads. She did, one of them, I answered back apparently but then nothing further happened. I don't remember why. But it seemed like B was interested in dating, but then changed her mind.
Then we met in person(!) Small world, huh. Now we start with this undercurrent of flirting going on, and I gradually become aware that B is emailing me a lot, like, nearly every day. We start flirting and revealing more about our lives. I tell her about my break-up with J, the Berkeley woman I had met nearly seven months earlier. I mentioned how hurt I was when J ended our connection, I even told her about the strange mental blackout I had while I was spending a weekend with J. B seemed curious, and interested. We were on our way to forming a good and open friendship.
I wanted B to know, even though I am bisexual, that I am not a flake who's just scoping out women to throw into bed with her boyfriend. I tend to get rather apologetic around these women, and I will bend over backwards to reassure them. B did not seem to need the reassurance, but she got it anyway.
Then I tell B about my interest in going with Dave to sex parties. She's quite intrigued, and even asks me what I do at these parties. Then she sends me an email saying, "Well, I'd like to come on to you at a sex party...with your permission, of course..."
Upon reading this, I fly back with, "Dammit woman, you'd fucking better come on to me at a sex party or I will be so disappointed, and so will my mother and she probably won't ever let me play with you again, hrumph." Or some such phrasing. B laughs her head off at this. She finds me interesting and amusing, and I get the sense she is definitely attracted. But where do we go from here?
B lives with her ex, a pleasant woman named M who I have met on the group hikes. But they have no sex anymore, and are together basically because of the joint property they own and all their aged animals. This arrangement has worked because B and M have not really tried to look for other people. My coming along represents a bit of a change for B.
Yeah, I know I know, people tell you, "Don't hook up with women who are still living with their ex's." But since I knew both women, I could see the deal and understand it, I thought. B seemed free and clear to me.
More time passes, we are into the new year now, and getting more flirtatious. Then B proposes a date, she has just bought a snazzy new-used, bright red BMW and we tool up to San Francisco to take in the film, Vera Drake. And why not take an ex-Catholic girl to see a film about an abortionist? said I.
We really seem to get along. I find B very easy to deal with. She really appreciates my strange sense of humor, and that's worth a ton to me.
But where do we go from the movie? Well, next up on B's list of "Things To Do" is visiting a local hot tub establishment.
Okay, we all know what THIS means. I think I'm going to get laid. What do you think?
TO BE CONTINUED
