Monday, June 12, 2006
Beachside Babe (Pt.2)
Other than to play pool. Which we did on a pretty regular basis last spring. But why not go down the other road too? You know the thoughts occur, especially when you meet another gay or bisexual woman and she is seemingly unattached at the moment. For some reason though we did not, and perhaps it was better we did not.
I could probably describe P as being somewhat polyamorous, and probably bisexual as well, at least at some points in her life. After all, she tells me she has a daughter, now married and just delivered of a baby herself this year. P seems to have several women floating around when I first meet her.
One of them is named B. B drops in on P one day, and as it's a rainy day with not much cooking outdoors, the cooking moved indoors, as it were. They ended up hanging out and then having sex together. It all sounded wonderfully casual and easy the way P described it to me. Why is she describing this to me, I wonder. Am I being sent a signal? I am unsure.
P describes herself as a very "sex-positive" person. That was another term I had not heard until about a year or two ago. At first I thought I had misheard. Isn't everyone sex positive really? No, they are not. Again, it is a term that seems specifically derived from the lesbian community, the same that is afflicted with that other malady, lesbian bed death.
Do gay men describe themselves as sex-positive? I wonder. I think not. Women, don't you love them?
P tells me she has been to older age lesbian functions, and she does not fit in at all. I can see why. The same reason I don't. We are both fit, physically very active, and sexually very active. The group in our area is full of very decrepit gay women. Very few keep themselves even remotely together after forty, it seems. It is sad. She and I feel no sense of common experience there at all.
For my friend P, her situation may be complicated by the fact she was raised in England until her teens, her U.S. military father was stationed there. So she has a great British accent, and given her deep voice and looks, she reminds me very much of the singer Marianne Faithfull. She is well-educated, and well-travelled.
Another experience that impacted her strongly occurred in the late 60s, early 70s. P lived on the original commune of that era in Tennessee, called The Farm, I believe. This is probably what makes her different. Not the fact she is gay, or bi, or polyamorous. But that she came out of that hippie era. The counterculture ethos stays with you, even if you do make heavy inroads into yuppiedom.
P hasn't gone down that road, thank God. She is a free spirit. I recognize her as such.
P works as an independent contractor restoring old houses in Santa Cruz. It is very physical work, and she says she does not need to do anything physical beyond that to stay in shape.
P turns me onto one of the two best sex parties I have attended. It's connected with the Human Awareness Institute people. I had not heard of them before, but after attending the party up in the Sebastopol area I decided they were a fun and pretty crowd to hang with. I let P know I had a blast.
Not many lesbians or bi women seem to really dig sex parties. Monogamy is more likely to be their order of the day. P is unusual in this regard.
I am curious about her friend A. P tells me something about her. Apparently she is very bi, and at a point in her life - late 40s now - where she really feels a need to develop ties with men. That's probably a hormonal thing, I can relate to that as I recall my feelings in my forties. Your body is getting ready to enter menopause, so it's telling you, "It's now or never, baby." If you want to have a baby, that is. Not that A does, but obviously it's a feeling that moves her towards male persons. A sounds not very successful though, at least at this point where P is describing her friend to me. She had a rather odd blackout too when she was with a male sex partner. She woke up the next morning with nary a clue as to who the guy was or how she got there. Wow! We girls and our blackouts, what's going on here? Our guardian angels have to do a little overtime when we get in that mode.
So sorry. Apologies all around. Is this what they mean by the Wages of Sin?
TO BE CONTINUED
