Thursday, July 27, 2006
How'd A Girl Like You Get To Be A Girl Like You? (Pt.1)
This title actually comes from Cary Grant's line to Eva Marie Saint in Hitchcock's classic thriller, "North By Northwest." It occurs about two thirds of the way through the film, after he's just figured out her duplicity and flung it back in her face. I thought it might be appropriate to use for this piece, which outlines a little how I came to be the fine bi person I am today.
What were the things along the road that pushed me towards being a bisexual person? As I look back now, there were brightly colored pebbles everywhere on my path, calling out to me to stop and collect them.
Like being athletic, for starters. Sports seem to augment the natural aggression people have. Every girl who plays sports almost always is a tomboy type. But did that mean I was inclined to like women? I am unsure. Not necessarily, but in my case it certainly helped the cause along. I may not be all that butch, but I have more aggression than most women, and I have been accustomed to acting some of that out physically in my sporty life. I used to think most dykes were really into sport, but I find that does not occur so often. The real jocks are still the straight women, by and large.
Being a Gemini probably introduced me naturally to the idea of duality in the universe. Our minds are constantly being pulled this way, then that way. After a while you start to really think that it's all about ebb and flow. While this may leave you without a really strong "home base" to land on, you certainly seem to have more fun than the rest of the peasants out there.
Home life always plays a role too, and having observed my parents rather unhappy marriage over the years I began to see the ways in which they contributed to my bisexual outlook. My father wanted a son, but ended up with three daughters. Being the oldest, and the most athletic, I became the Substitute Son. My mother saw in me a defender and an ally in her ongoing battles with my father, so I got drafted. She encouraged my tomboyishness too. After all, a girly girl daughter is not as good an ally as a girl who knows how to fight.
So my family inclinations played into my development. For this I am thankful. Of the three daughters, I feel I'm the one who has had the most interesting life. Even though the two younger girls are better off financially and materially, and exhibit to the world the air of middle-class happiness. I was the one who ran around and did stuff and had weird things happen in my life. I hesitate to use the term "Black Sheep" of the family, but in some ways I was.
Now though I see my upbringing has paid off. All the notes in the symphony turned into major chords and it sounds quite nice, overall. I recall an astrologer saying I would get my goodies later on in life, i.e. finding Dave when I was mid forties, feeling more at home in who I was. And being more certain than ever that I was a bisexual person.
TO BE CONTINUED
What were the things along the road that pushed me towards being a bisexual person? As I look back now, there were brightly colored pebbles everywhere on my path, calling out to me to stop and collect them.
Like being athletic, for starters. Sports seem to augment the natural aggression people have. Every girl who plays sports almost always is a tomboy type. But did that mean I was inclined to like women? I am unsure. Not necessarily, but in my case it certainly helped the cause along. I may not be all that butch, but I have more aggression than most women, and I have been accustomed to acting some of that out physically in my sporty life. I used to think most dykes were really into sport, but I find that does not occur so often. The real jocks are still the straight women, by and large.
Being a Gemini probably introduced me naturally to the idea of duality in the universe. Our minds are constantly being pulled this way, then that way. After a while you start to really think that it's all about ebb and flow. While this may leave you without a really strong "home base" to land on, you certainly seem to have more fun than the rest of the peasants out there.
Home life always plays a role too, and having observed my parents rather unhappy marriage over the years I began to see the ways in which they contributed to my bisexual outlook. My father wanted a son, but ended up with three daughters. Being the oldest, and the most athletic, I became the Substitute Son. My mother saw in me a defender and an ally in her ongoing battles with my father, so I got drafted. She encouraged my tomboyishness too. After all, a girly girl daughter is not as good an ally as a girl who knows how to fight.
So my family inclinations played into my development. For this I am thankful. Of the three daughters, I feel I'm the one who has had the most interesting life. Even though the two younger girls are better off financially and materially, and exhibit to the world the air of middle-class happiness. I was the one who ran around and did stuff and had weird things happen in my life. I hesitate to use the term "Black Sheep" of the family, but in some ways I was.
Now though I see my upbringing has paid off. All the notes in the symphony turned into major chords and it sounds quite nice, overall. I recall an astrologer saying I would get my goodies later on in life, i.e. finding Dave when I was mid forties, feeling more at home in who I was. And being more certain than ever that I was a bisexual person.
TO BE CONTINUED
