Thursday, July 20, 2006
Polyamory, Now More Than Ever
Wasn't that someone's campaign slogan once upon a time? "Now, more than ever...." sort of thing. I know it was, I just can't recall who the chump was who fit that slogan. But it seemed appropriate to me today, as I wonder about what polyamory can do for our lives, and how we can encourage it in the face of some disturbing trends.
As an avid reader of the New York Times, I tumble onto articles which remind me of how scary this country can be. On May 7 of this year, the Times ran a huge article, "Contra-Contraception" by Russell Shorto. I won't provide a link to the article, since it is one of those membership things. Screw the abortion debate, apparently now we have to worry about whether we women are going to get knocked up every time we want to have sex because a growing number of people question the value of contraception. Swell.
What outlets are we going to have left? Everyone's kicked the smoking habit now, drugs are still frowned upon, we have to be more picky in what we eat, and sex can quite literally these days kill you. At least we can still drink. For now.
But this anti-contraception impulse has me worried. It's just another way the Puritans resurrect themselves in this country and rain on the parade of the rest of us. Why are they upset with contraception? Because it seems to lead couples - even married couples - to the dreadful notion, God forbid, that maybe sex is just meant to be pleasurable in and of itself. Without a link to procreation.
But wasn't this why contraception was invented in the first place? To free us up so we COULD enjoy the experience without having a kid tag along for the ride? What came along to sour the grapes?
Probably the Christian Right, which now seems right up there with the Catholic Church as the second leading terrorist organization in this country. These guys don't want anyone to have fun, certainly not sexual fun. They looked around and said, "We're going in the wrong direction as a country, and our sexual mores have a great deal to do with that. We're tired of the promiscuity and we're going to do something about it." At the root of all this I think we come back to that age-old favorite, hatred of the female. Does any rational person out there not get that this is all about controlling women? And in particular, their reproductive capabilities?
Where have you been, darling?
Hence the things taking place now. The appointment of new judges to the Supreme Court who are going to have far-reaching effects unfortunately. The passage in Wyoming of an extreme anti-abortion law. The contemplation of state measures to ban gay marriage.
And lest we think the rest of the world is immune, the Times reported around the same time that Indonesia is cracking down on pornography. Indonesia is the world's largest Muslim country, and no doubt the new law arises from this fact, even though people refer to the place as Muslim light. There is no such thing as Muslim light, but that is another story.
Suffice to say the lawmakers there are weighing laws which would identify new things now as "pornographic." Which could mean anything from a woman's forearm being bared in public to x-rated films.
This trend is probably going to continue. Just because there is a palpable measure of unhappiness abroad in the land now, and people need to take it out somewhere.
Why not sex? Isn't that the one big firecatcher for all of us? The thing we all congregate around like moths to the flame even while we're passing laws left and right to protect us from ourselves?
At times like this, I almost hesitate to say, why the hell weren't we colonized by the French?
- - - - - - -
As an avid reader of the New York Times, I tumble onto articles which remind me of how scary this country can be. On May 7 of this year, the Times ran a huge article, "Contra-Contraception" by Russell Shorto. I won't provide a link to the article, since it is one of those membership things. Screw the abortion debate, apparently now we have to worry about whether we women are going to get knocked up every time we want to have sex because a growing number of people question the value of contraception. Swell.
What outlets are we going to have left? Everyone's kicked the smoking habit now, drugs are still frowned upon, we have to be more picky in what we eat, and sex can quite literally these days kill you. At least we can still drink. For now.
But this anti-contraception impulse has me worried. It's just another way the Puritans resurrect themselves in this country and rain on the parade of the rest of us. Why are they upset with contraception? Because it seems to lead couples - even married couples - to the dreadful notion, God forbid, that maybe sex is just meant to be pleasurable in and of itself. Without a link to procreation.
But wasn't this why contraception was invented in the first place? To free us up so we COULD enjoy the experience without having a kid tag along for the ride? What came along to sour the grapes?
Probably the Christian Right, which now seems right up there with the Catholic Church as the second leading terrorist organization in this country. These guys don't want anyone to have fun, certainly not sexual fun. They looked around and said, "We're going in the wrong direction as a country, and our sexual mores have a great deal to do with that. We're tired of the promiscuity and we're going to do something about it." At the root of all this I think we come back to that age-old favorite, hatred of the female. Does any rational person out there not get that this is all about controlling women? And in particular, their reproductive capabilities?
Where have you been, darling?
Hence the things taking place now. The appointment of new judges to the Supreme Court who are going to have far-reaching effects unfortunately. The passage in Wyoming of an extreme anti-abortion law. The contemplation of state measures to ban gay marriage.
And lest we think the rest of the world is immune, the Times reported around the same time that Indonesia is cracking down on pornography. Indonesia is the world's largest Muslim country, and no doubt the new law arises from this fact, even though people refer to the place as Muslim light. There is no such thing as Muslim light, but that is another story.
Suffice to say the lawmakers there are weighing laws which would identify new things now as "pornographic." Which could mean anything from a woman's forearm being bared in public to x-rated films.
This trend is probably going to continue. Just because there is a palpable measure of unhappiness abroad in the land now, and people need to take it out somewhere.
Why not sex? Isn't that the one big firecatcher for all of us? The thing we all congregate around like moths to the flame even while we're passing laws left and right to protect us from ourselves?
At times like this, I almost hesitate to say, why the hell weren't we colonized by the French?
- - - - - - -
Comments:
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Now More Than Ever was Nixon, and Now More Than Ever was the slogan of the studio in The Player.
# posted by 
: 9:46 AM
: 9:46 AM
Have you read any Houellebecq? I think you'd like him. French author. Wrote a book called Platform you'd probably like.
There's all this political stuff, but there's also the social. We still live in a social environment where affairs, lying and cheating are "facts of life" whereas consentual nonomonogamy is looked upon with fear and distain. (sigh)
There's all this political stuff, but there's also the social. We still live in a social environment where affairs, lying and cheating are "facts of life" whereas consentual nonomonogamy is looked upon with fear and distain. (sigh)
# posted by : 10:38 AM
: 10:38 AM
Thanks for the Nixon tip, it does sound rather like something he would appropriate, doesn't it?
I've seen The Player several times, as a film buff and former writer in that kingdom I loved it (and should have remembered the line, alas).
I will check out this French writer, do not know him.
Yes, consensual non-monogamy is probably one of the scarier things out there for middle of the road America...."what do you mean? Can I really have my cake and eat it too?"
Yes Martha, you can! But can she survive it?
Thanks for reading!
I've seen The Player several times, as a film buff and former writer in that kingdom I loved it (and should have remembered the line, alas).
I will check out this French writer, do not know him.
Yes, consensual non-monogamy is probably one of the scarier things out there for middle of the road America...."what do you mean? Can I really have my cake and eat it too?"
Yes Martha, you can! But can she survive it?
Thanks for reading!
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