Friday, October 20, 2006
Home Alone, My Zucchini And I
Dave left last Saturday for work on the road in Dallas. Just for the week. So here I am, three days along and I'm feeling horny and ornery and I've decided to act on it. But when I look around for my toy bag, I remember Dave saying something about needing to take my bag because something was wrong with his.
But did he take my toys too? Surely not. He has his toys, I have mine. Except he neglected to tell me where he stashed my toys. I started looking in various likely places, but could not find them.
So, now I'm really getting horny and even more ornery. Nothing like having your plans go awry to make a girl really really determined to have fun. Even if she doesn't see yet any visible means of penetration, as it were. And penetration was what this woman wanted, and nearly immediately, yes thank you very much.
Then I recalled the large zucchini I had bought for use on the following day. In a meal, that is. I let myself wander mentally back to my feral pre-pubescent years, when I had discovered my mom's vegetable drawer in the fridge. I had written about this experience earlier in this column.
I practically flew to the fridge and pulled out the cold but gleaming veggie that would soon be my means of impalement. Maybe not so cold though. I washed the item carefully and did a little trimming of one end to smooth it out, then I deposited it in a tall glass of hot water to take the chill off it.
Then away I went, amused and happy that I was indulging once again in a fine bit of self abuse. Dave has been with me at home since last Christmas, so my inclinations are really to take advantage of his presence while he is there. Playing with myself happens only rarely at such times.
Only I had to make my way carefully now, as the zucchini was a bit larger than I had thought it was. Large sizes are pretty good in my book, but maybe there comes a time when enough is enough already. This may have been one of those nights.
But I persisted, and finally inserted it. I wanted to do it without lube, and I did. After all this preparation, it did not take long before I got myself off. What an orgasm, I thought. It was really intense, mindblowing almost. One of those things where you feel free of time and space and you're just roaming around the universe.
Later I told Dave about it, and he is amused and pleased. He's always trying to fit large dildoes up his bum in his spare time, so he can relate to this. Playing with partners is nice, we decided, but diddling yourself can be a tremendously rewarding experience too.
It feels personally very centering, and we like that.
But did he take my toys too? Surely not. He has his toys, I have mine. Except he neglected to tell me where he stashed my toys. I started looking in various likely places, but could not find them.
So, now I'm really getting horny and even more ornery. Nothing like having your plans go awry to make a girl really really determined to have fun. Even if she doesn't see yet any visible means of penetration, as it were. And penetration was what this woman wanted, and nearly immediately, yes thank you very much.
Then I recalled the large zucchini I had bought for use on the following day. In a meal, that is. I let myself wander mentally back to my feral pre-pubescent years, when I had discovered my mom's vegetable drawer in the fridge. I had written about this experience earlier in this column.
I practically flew to the fridge and pulled out the cold but gleaming veggie that would soon be my means of impalement. Maybe not so cold though. I washed the item carefully and did a little trimming of one end to smooth it out, then I deposited it in a tall glass of hot water to take the chill off it.
Then away I went, amused and happy that I was indulging once again in a fine bit of self abuse. Dave has been with me at home since last Christmas, so my inclinations are really to take advantage of his presence while he is there. Playing with myself happens only rarely at such times.
Only I had to make my way carefully now, as the zucchini was a bit larger than I had thought it was. Large sizes are pretty good in my book, but maybe there comes a time when enough is enough already. This may have been one of those nights.
But I persisted, and finally inserted it. I wanted to do it without lube, and I did. After all this preparation, it did not take long before I got myself off. What an orgasm, I thought. It was really intense, mindblowing almost. One of those things where you feel free of time and space and you're just roaming around the universe.
Later I told Dave about it, and he is amused and pleased. He's always trying to fit large dildoes up his bum in his spare time, so he can relate to this. Playing with partners is nice, we decided, but diddling yourself can be a tremendously rewarding experience too.
It feels personally very centering, and we like that.
