Friday, December 29, 2006
The Loves Of Our Lives
Since re-entering the wacky world of online girlie dating three years ago, I have observed how nearly all the lesbian women I run across seem driven by one consideration. It is not about sex, unlike gay men, who not only seek that out but find it with alarming alacrity. Rather it is about finding the partner of their dreams. Hetero couples engage in this too, but with lesbians it has been elevated to an art form almost.
The Quest For Love. It ranks right up there with the Quest For Fire, one supposes. Well, how do the ladies make out generally? Generally, I would say not very well. Mostly because I think they are looking too hard. There is the scent of quiet desperation.
The real problems occur, lo and behold, when a gay woman thinks she has located Ms. Right. Now the best is yet to come. There are a lot of jokes within the community about how gay women, almost singlehandedly, support the U-Haul businesses out there. Because as we all know, once a lady finds her lady, a moving van is not far behind. Hhmm, as we check our watches we see the girls are right on schedule to move in with one another and start living on top of each other and, in essence, really really having fun together.
I am being quite sarcastic here, because I find so many of these living arrangements head south pretty rapidly. The intensity of the desire to nest really skewers everything, I feel. No relationship could survive with that hefty amount of expectations piled atop it.
As I go through the women's personal ads on Craigslist for the San Francisco Bay area, I notice a now-large number of ads of women who just want an NSA relationship. That's No Strings Attached for you. So maybe the times are a changin' and younger lesbians are no longer so hell bent to find the perfect lover.
But there is another larger group on Craigslist who are searching for that. Since I am partnered with a male, most of these women figure I am poor dating material. As one of my former lovers stated in her email when she blew me off, she didn't see "where this could go." Well, there are many places such relationships can go; all it takes is a willingness to explore the possible paths, which I thought this particular lover, J, possessed. But apparently I was wrong.
I tend to like the dyke crowd when I play with women. I am not so interested in other bi women, mostly because they all seem so one-sidedly femme. I need someone a little butch of center for life to work for me. But this narrows my chances of finding someone in the lesbian community.
So I get to observe them a lot instead. I remember noting, when Mayor Gavin Newsom in San Francisco allowed gays to marry last year, that there were a number of fine-looking women down at the courthouse. Dave and I commented about one early female couple in particular. The one woman reminded me a lot of J. The other one was very appropriate for her too, I thought. So I watched them and I felt jealous. They seemed so compatible.
Well, lo and behold, we find out much later that the pair got divorced three months after the "wedding."
These looked like smart, educated women who were old enough to know their own desires. How can it be that THREE MONTHS later things have fallen apart? This is mind-boggling to me.
Is this what the drive for monogamy does to people? Well, to lesbian people anyway. Maybe someone ought to whisper something nasty into these girls' ears, like "You don't need to buy the whole cow just to get a little milk from her." Of course I will get flamed for saying this in many circles, but you have to wonder. Because the desire to be monogamous obviously conflicts with the desire to be more sexual. And when these two elements butt heads, break-ups are almost inevitable.
Why can't the gay girls be more like the gay boys? For the one group, monogamy is etched in stone; for the other, monogamy means you can cruise with your male partner. The fact that, in the States, the two communities don't really socialize that much anymore makes this gap seem wider. This is sad, because each group has some valuable perspectives to offer the other.
- - - - -
The Quest For Love. It ranks right up there with the Quest For Fire, one supposes. Well, how do the ladies make out generally? Generally, I would say not very well. Mostly because I think they are looking too hard. There is the scent of quiet desperation.
The real problems occur, lo and behold, when a gay woman thinks she has located Ms. Right. Now the best is yet to come. There are a lot of jokes within the community about how gay women, almost singlehandedly, support the U-Haul businesses out there. Because as we all know, once a lady finds her lady, a moving van is not far behind. Hhmm, as we check our watches we see the girls are right on schedule to move in with one another and start living on top of each other and, in essence, really really having fun together.
I am being quite sarcastic here, because I find so many of these living arrangements head south pretty rapidly. The intensity of the desire to nest really skewers everything, I feel. No relationship could survive with that hefty amount of expectations piled atop it.
As I go through the women's personal ads on Craigslist for the San Francisco Bay area, I notice a now-large number of ads of women who just want an NSA relationship. That's No Strings Attached for you. So maybe the times are a changin' and younger lesbians are no longer so hell bent to find the perfect lover.
But there is another larger group on Craigslist who are searching for that. Since I am partnered with a male, most of these women figure I am poor dating material. As one of my former lovers stated in her email when she blew me off, she didn't see "where this could go." Well, there are many places such relationships can go; all it takes is a willingness to explore the possible paths, which I thought this particular lover, J, possessed. But apparently I was wrong.
I tend to like the dyke crowd when I play with women. I am not so interested in other bi women, mostly because they all seem so one-sidedly femme. I need someone a little butch of center for life to work for me. But this narrows my chances of finding someone in the lesbian community.
So I get to observe them a lot instead. I remember noting, when Mayor Gavin Newsom in San Francisco allowed gays to marry last year, that there were a number of fine-looking women down at the courthouse. Dave and I commented about one early female couple in particular. The one woman reminded me a lot of J. The other one was very appropriate for her too, I thought. So I watched them and I felt jealous. They seemed so compatible.
Well, lo and behold, we find out much later that the pair got divorced three months after the "wedding."
These looked like smart, educated women who were old enough to know their own desires. How can it be that THREE MONTHS later things have fallen apart? This is mind-boggling to me.
Is this what the drive for monogamy does to people? Well, to lesbian people anyway. Maybe someone ought to whisper something nasty into these girls' ears, like "You don't need to buy the whole cow just to get a little milk from her." Of course I will get flamed for saying this in many circles, but you have to wonder. Because the desire to be monogamous obviously conflicts with the desire to be more sexual. And when these two elements butt heads, break-ups are almost inevitable.
Why can't the gay girls be more like the gay boys? For the one group, monogamy is etched in stone; for the other, monogamy means you can cruise with your male partner. The fact that, in the States, the two communities don't really socialize that much anymore makes this gap seem wider. This is sad, because each group has some valuable perspectives to offer the other.
- - - - -
Friday, December 22, 2006
Sanctimonious Lesbians
Oh, happy day when one can wake up to the subtle strains of NPR on the airwaves, in this case to imbibe the personal accounts of people who submit various opinions on various topics.
Today I heard a lesbian woman waxing poetic about her relationship with her lesbian partner. It all sounded lovey-dovey hunky-dory, until I got to the bit where some moralizing crept in.
Why would anybody want to put themselves through a heterosexual relationship in an attempt to find intimacy, she argued. She spoke about looking out the window of her apartment and across the way in other windows she would see couples sitting across from each other. Men and women couples. Surely, because they are men and women, they cannot have the same level of intimacy that I, a lesbian, can have with another woman.
Well, ok, maybe they can, she goes on, but it is more of a struggle because they are innately different, therefore the chances of finding true intimacy diminish. In case you weren't paying attention, Mother Nature just drove a stake through your aspirations.
Darn! And just when you thought it was safe to go back in the waters of heterosexual dating! Bummer!
But wait a minute here, why should I assume that because we are identical, as she puts it, on "a cellular level," that we therefore have an inside track on intimacy?
Hhmm, let me count the ways...I've had about a rough dozen female lovers in my life (and mostly rough it was, ruff ruff). More than the male partners by a good distance. Yet I would never presume to say we had good intrinsic communication skills because we both happened to be female. In fact, mostly the opposite.
So what's the deal here that lesbians seem to have this need to claim the higher part of the mountain for themselves? Do they regard men as being so low on the genetic totem-pole that there is little good any woman can wring out of their bloody hides? Probably, in many cases. You see, for many lesbians, it is not enough that you claim you are lesbian, you have to rain on the parade of the heteros as well. Especially the men.
There is a lot of this rather gratuitous chat that goes on among lesbians, I find. It is very annoying. It would be more annoying if it were true, and even more so if what the women claim for themselves were actually true.
But I would argue that mutual understanding is arrived at, not because you have reduced points of conflict, but because you may, God forbid, have more.
I would argue that you grow more as a person when you have a certain adversity flung at you every so often.
From personal experience, I can tell you that living with a man gives you that, as a woman. It has made me a lot stronger, as a PERSON, to live with someone who is quite different from me, biology aside.
Think of it as something akin to a roaring good tennis match. Roger Federer would still be the supreme player he is because he's Roger, but he will become even better if he has a Rafa Nadal around to push him, to get in his face, to rattle his cage. To bother the lad the way Dave has bothered me over the years.
Men do that with me, there is conflict; women on the other hand don't, it's too easy. And because it's too easy, it becomes, for me, rather boring.
To translate it into sexual terms, I also think one's sex life can be very interesting when the couple has a lot of issues going on. You patch things up in the bedroom.
In some lesbian relationships, the intimacy can be so complete and soothing that it drowns those instincts that can lead to hot sex. You end up with a lot of what they call Lesbian Bed Death. Or to put it another way, I think familiarity does indeed breed contempt.
I am realizing now why that topic fascinates me so, why some part of me feels anxious when I write about it. Because I want to keep the image alive in my head that I COULD have partnered with a woman. But I realize I never could have, because I required something different. I required a situation that had many points of tension built in, not that I tried to create that, or that I even wanted it. But once there, I saw how it worked for me.
Somehow being woven into a cocoon of lesbian intimacy was just too claustrophobic.
Quick, how do I get out of here???
- - - - -
Today I heard a lesbian woman waxing poetic about her relationship with her lesbian partner. It all sounded lovey-dovey hunky-dory, until I got to the bit where some moralizing crept in.
Why would anybody want to put themselves through a heterosexual relationship in an attempt to find intimacy, she argued. She spoke about looking out the window of her apartment and across the way in other windows she would see couples sitting across from each other. Men and women couples. Surely, because they are men and women, they cannot have the same level of intimacy that I, a lesbian, can have with another woman.
Well, ok, maybe they can, she goes on, but it is more of a struggle because they are innately different, therefore the chances of finding true intimacy diminish. In case you weren't paying attention, Mother Nature just drove a stake through your aspirations.
Darn! And just when you thought it was safe to go back in the waters of heterosexual dating! Bummer!
But wait a minute here, why should I assume that because we are identical, as she puts it, on "a cellular level," that we therefore have an inside track on intimacy?
Hhmm, let me count the ways...I've had about a rough dozen female lovers in my life (and mostly rough it was, ruff ruff). More than the male partners by a good distance. Yet I would never presume to say we had good intrinsic communication skills because we both happened to be female. In fact, mostly the opposite.
So what's the deal here that lesbians seem to have this need to claim the higher part of the mountain for themselves? Do they regard men as being so low on the genetic totem-pole that there is little good any woman can wring out of their bloody hides? Probably, in many cases. You see, for many lesbians, it is not enough that you claim you are lesbian, you have to rain on the parade of the heteros as well. Especially the men.
There is a lot of this rather gratuitous chat that goes on among lesbians, I find. It is very annoying. It would be more annoying if it were true, and even more so if what the women claim for themselves were actually true.
But I would argue that mutual understanding is arrived at, not because you have reduced points of conflict, but because you may, God forbid, have more.
I would argue that you grow more as a person when you have a certain adversity flung at you every so often.
From personal experience, I can tell you that living with a man gives you that, as a woman. It has made me a lot stronger, as a PERSON, to live with someone who is quite different from me, biology aside.
Think of it as something akin to a roaring good tennis match. Roger Federer would still be the supreme player he is because he's Roger, but he will become even better if he has a Rafa Nadal around to push him, to get in his face, to rattle his cage. To bother the lad the way Dave has bothered me over the years.
Men do that with me, there is conflict; women on the other hand don't, it's too easy. And because it's too easy, it becomes, for me, rather boring.
To translate it into sexual terms, I also think one's sex life can be very interesting when the couple has a lot of issues going on. You patch things up in the bedroom.
In some lesbian relationships, the intimacy can be so complete and soothing that it drowns those instincts that can lead to hot sex. You end up with a lot of what they call Lesbian Bed Death. Or to put it another way, I think familiarity does indeed breed contempt.
I am realizing now why that topic fascinates me so, why some part of me feels anxious when I write about it. Because I want to keep the image alive in my head that I COULD have partnered with a woman. But I realize I never could have, because I required something different. I required a situation that had many points of tension built in, not that I tried to create that, or that I even wanted it. But once there, I saw how it worked for me.
Somehow being woven into a cocoon of lesbian intimacy was just too claustrophobic.
Quick, how do I get out of here???
- - - - -
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
Heidi and Mike, Out At The Ranch
If you're a woman, and you're in need of some sexual refreshment, as it were, why something wicked your neighborhood comes. In the form of former Hollywood madam Heidi Fleiss, who is back in business, again, only this time she has set up shop in Nevada. Probably a good thing, I seem to recall she had a fair number of problems plying her trade in Hollywood environs a few years back.
But hey, she did her time, she paid for her crimes, such as they were. Now she has found a new partner in crime, boxing heavyweight champ Mike Tyson. Also a former ex con, as you will recall from even further back when he did time, among other things, for raping a woman who went to his hotel room one night.
The New York Daily News reported recently, with a certain air of amusement, the fact that these two are now in cahoots. Heidi wants to open a brothel in Nevada, for women customers, and Mike has been hired to be her Number One Stud Muffin. As she put it to reporters, "(He's)..going to be my big stallion," A name has already been picked out for it. Heidi's Stud Farm. How novel!
Mike chimed in with his two cents, saying, "I don't care what any man says, it's every man's dream to please every woman...and get paid for it."
Of course, since this is a brand-new adventure, we have no idea yet how it will play out. But let's hope it is an idea whose time has come. Once when I was in Bangkok, I heard about a brothel where women could go for their fun. It sounded like a neat idea, and I am sure there are such places scattered across the globe. I always figured if it were close I would go and try it out. I never did locate that particular brothel.
Nevada sounds close enough. I wonder who her clientele would be? Obviously women who are not only unhappily partnered, or not partnered at all, and well-heeled. What would it cost to go there? Will Heidi stake out a path of the places already in Nevada, like the notorious Mustang Ranch, now closed? Or will she try and make it a whole new concept, because women are the clients? Would she situate it close to Las Vegas, or would she be angling for a different crowd further away? After all, the women may not want their watering holes, pardon the puns, to be situated anywhere near where the men go. But maybe you start in Vegas and catch a limo from there. I smell limos in this equation, don't you?
Inquiring minds want to know. I also want to know who her other lads will be attending these women. Mike Tyson must be the sort of guy you want if you're into a Rough Trade type of evening. Mike always was a forceful kind of guy. Hopefully he'll appreciate the need not to give the girls a split lip on their way out. Some veneer of savoir fair, however thin, would still be required.
Will she have theme nights? Or theme boys? What "type" would I go for? Will it be a cabaret sort of theme, where guests and worker bees mingle happily, over nibbles and cocktails? Will there be group scenes, or is it likely to be one on one?
God forbid they should get girls like me, who want to pack along their strap-ons and whip them out for use on the appropriate boy. Will the appropriate boy be open for such dalliances?
The prospect sounds fascinating. I wish I were Heidi's personal assistant or bookkeeper or press person or something so I could get a gander of how something like this gets off the ground. And it will get off the ground, no doubt about that.
Times have changed enough, and women have enough money now, and the chutzpah to go with it, to utilize a luscious service like this.
Go Heidi! Go...ah...Mike...well, sort of maybe. Not my type. However, if she wants to install someone like Daniel Craig, the current new blond James Bond, why I guess I'll just have to break down and go.
- - - - -
But hey, she did her time, she paid for her crimes, such as they were. Now she has found a new partner in crime, boxing heavyweight champ Mike Tyson. Also a former ex con, as you will recall from even further back when he did time, among other things, for raping a woman who went to his hotel room one night.
The New York Daily News reported recently, with a certain air of amusement, the fact that these two are now in cahoots. Heidi wants to open a brothel in Nevada, for women customers, and Mike has been hired to be her Number One Stud Muffin. As she put it to reporters, "(He's)..going to be my big stallion," A name has already been picked out for it. Heidi's Stud Farm. How novel!
Mike chimed in with his two cents, saying, "I don't care what any man says, it's every man's dream to please every woman...and get paid for it."
Of course, since this is a brand-new adventure, we have no idea yet how it will play out. But let's hope it is an idea whose time has come. Once when I was in Bangkok, I heard about a brothel where women could go for their fun. It sounded like a neat idea, and I am sure there are such places scattered across the globe. I always figured if it were close I would go and try it out. I never did locate that particular brothel.
Nevada sounds close enough. I wonder who her clientele would be? Obviously women who are not only unhappily partnered, or not partnered at all, and well-heeled. What would it cost to go there? Will Heidi stake out a path of the places already in Nevada, like the notorious Mustang Ranch, now closed? Or will she try and make it a whole new concept, because women are the clients? Would she situate it close to Las Vegas, or would she be angling for a different crowd further away? After all, the women may not want their watering holes, pardon the puns, to be situated anywhere near where the men go. But maybe you start in Vegas and catch a limo from there. I smell limos in this equation, don't you?
Inquiring minds want to know. I also want to know who her other lads will be attending these women. Mike Tyson must be the sort of guy you want if you're into a Rough Trade type of evening. Mike always was a forceful kind of guy. Hopefully he'll appreciate the need not to give the girls a split lip on their way out. Some veneer of savoir fair, however thin, would still be required.
Will she have theme nights? Or theme boys? What "type" would I go for? Will it be a cabaret sort of theme, where guests and worker bees mingle happily, over nibbles and cocktails? Will there be group scenes, or is it likely to be one on one?
God forbid they should get girls like me, who want to pack along their strap-ons and whip them out for use on the appropriate boy. Will the appropriate boy be open for such dalliances?
The prospect sounds fascinating. I wish I were Heidi's personal assistant or bookkeeper or press person or something so I could get a gander of how something like this gets off the ground. And it will get off the ground, no doubt about that.
Times have changed enough, and women have enough money now, and the chutzpah to go with it, to utilize a luscious service like this.
Go Heidi! Go...ah...Mike...well, sort of maybe. Not my type. However, if she wants to install someone like Daniel Craig, the current new blond James Bond, why I guess I'll just have to break down and go.
- - - - -
Friday, December 15, 2006
A Birthday Orgy, Follow-Up
So Dave and I left the birthday orgy for E with the sense that we would probably not want to go back. Actually, more like we probably wouldn't be invited back, since neither of us consented to...well, let's say it this way, we chose not to honor our host on his big day. In fact, it was annoying to me especially that he was expecting everyone to service him in some fashion or another. I wouldn't go there because I do not find him attractive at all.
I have no idea how he landed his wife, B. She is attractive, fit-looking, maybe not quite the hot babe who was described to me before we met, but not bad in terms of the group we were in. Alright, he has a decent-sized dick I suppose, but he's one of those hairy guys who's really, really hairy, and that's where I check out. I'm not prepared to spend an evening doing defoliation work before I get to the main event. Thanks. I mowed the family lawn as a kid. That was enough.
Then about a week after the party we get an email from E, quite a friendly one, and he seems to harbor no bad feeling at all. In fact he's inquiring if we had a good time, he mentions how he wanted to play with both of us but he noticed we were preoccupied throughout the evening. He also wrote to pass along the names of a couple who apparently wanted to meet us. He encloses their email address. He says if we don't want to write directly to them, he can mediate and pass along our email to them.
Dave and I scratch our heads a bit before replying. Who the hell were J and L? And what's the deal that they are too chicken shit to talk to us DURING the party? Why after? Sorry honeys, the horseys have left the barn already. This sort of kid's stuff happens a lot in the lesbian world. You can go to a party of all-women and people seem hesitant to approach other guests, but then the week after on Craigslist you find the postings...."I saw you at the party and you were so hot, I wanted to approach you but....but...but..."(you can fill in whatever excuse here).
Well, couples can be scaredy cats too. We just don't have a clue who this couple is. But we are hoping it was the hot pair who walked in just as we were about to leave. In fact we had some brief interraction with them and we both seemed to feel things might develop had we stuck around. But we were whipped and somewhat disappointed, and in a mood to leave. So we did.
I write back to E and inquire of him who these people are. He describes a guy we don't remember at all, older, some grey in a long mane of hair. American Indian fellow there with his partner L. I have no recollection of them at all. But apparently we made quite a hit with them.
I ask E about the hot couple, the women was named O, but her partner's name escaped me over the noise. E tells me his name. Cute. I don't want to rain further on E's parade, but I want to indicate to him that the couple we really dug were this pair, not his pair. E gets that sense, he describes the boy as her "escort" for the evening, meaning I guess they aren't exclusively monogamous together. Good. E gives no indication he has played with them personally, but he seems to like them, he thinks they are hot too, they have been to a few other parties and E knows people who know the guy quite well.
It seems like E is setting us up to have to go through him some more if we want to get in touch with them again. I don't go there; I would rather just run into them somewhere else. If it's meant to be nice, it will be nice, no need to push the river. So I play nice-nice with E, letting him know we appreciated his efforts to entertain his guests, and hoped that he had a good time on his big day.
As for the email address, we decide not to write to this anonymous couple. What's the point in writing to people we don't remember ever meeting? We may run into them again too. Hopefully they'll have the balls to say something directly to us.
After all, you are at a sex party, aren't you? What's the point in taking off your clothes if your minds are still too inhibited to introduce yourselves?
- - - - -
I have no idea how he landed his wife, B. She is attractive, fit-looking, maybe not quite the hot babe who was described to me before we met, but not bad in terms of the group we were in. Alright, he has a decent-sized dick I suppose, but he's one of those hairy guys who's really, really hairy, and that's where I check out. I'm not prepared to spend an evening doing defoliation work before I get to the main event. Thanks. I mowed the family lawn as a kid. That was enough.
Then about a week after the party we get an email from E, quite a friendly one, and he seems to harbor no bad feeling at all. In fact he's inquiring if we had a good time, he mentions how he wanted to play with both of us but he noticed we were preoccupied throughout the evening. He also wrote to pass along the names of a couple who apparently wanted to meet us. He encloses their email address. He says if we don't want to write directly to them, he can mediate and pass along our email to them.
Dave and I scratch our heads a bit before replying. Who the hell were J and L? And what's the deal that they are too chicken shit to talk to us DURING the party? Why after? Sorry honeys, the horseys have left the barn already. This sort of kid's stuff happens a lot in the lesbian world. You can go to a party of all-women and people seem hesitant to approach other guests, but then the week after on Craigslist you find the postings...."I saw you at the party and you were so hot, I wanted to approach you but....but...but..."(you can fill in whatever excuse here).
Well, couples can be scaredy cats too. We just don't have a clue who this couple is. But we are hoping it was the hot pair who walked in just as we were about to leave. In fact we had some brief interraction with them and we both seemed to feel things might develop had we stuck around. But we were whipped and somewhat disappointed, and in a mood to leave. So we did.
I write back to E and inquire of him who these people are. He describes a guy we don't remember at all, older, some grey in a long mane of hair. American Indian fellow there with his partner L. I have no recollection of them at all. But apparently we made quite a hit with them.
I ask E about the hot couple, the women was named O, but her partner's name escaped me over the noise. E tells me his name. Cute. I don't want to rain further on E's parade, but I want to indicate to him that the couple we really dug were this pair, not his pair. E gets that sense, he describes the boy as her "escort" for the evening, meaning I guess they aren't exclusively monogamous together. Good. E gives no indication he has played with them personally, but he seems to like them, he thinks they are hot too, they have been to a few other parties and E knows people who know the guy quite well.
It seems like E is setting us up to have to go through him some more if we want to get in touch with them again. I don't go there; I would rather just run into them somewhere else. If it's meant to be nice, it will be nice, no need to push the river. So I play nice-nice with E, letting him know we appreciated his efforts to entertain his guests, and hoped that he had a good time on his big day.
As for the email address, we decide not to write to this anonymous couple. What's the point in writing to people we don't remember ever meeting? We may run into them again too. Hopefully they'll have the balls to say something directly to us.
After all, you are at a sex party, aren't you? What's the point in taking off your clothes if your minds are still too inhibited to introduce yourselves?
- - - - -
Thursday, December 07, 2006
A Birthday Orgy (Pt.4)
Dave and I are at a sex party that's not really a full-tilt sex party; tonight we're having trouble getting the ship off the ground. I wonder how E, the birthday host, is feeling about things. Part of why Dave and I thought of staying home was because we knew already from meeting E that neither of us was attracted to him. What expectations though would he have of the guests? We were uncertain.
Well, midway through the evening, we find out what E's hopes and dreams consisted of. His wife B makes an announcement that we all have to pay homage to E on his birthday, and we were all expected to come up one by one and do "something nice" for our host. That's left up to you.
The minute she announced this, I noticed a number of people on my side of the room reacted. And not positively, either. There was a shuffling and moving around of bodies suddenly. As if we all had heard the hostess' request and we were looking for the nearest exit. Good, thought I, we are not alone in wanting to avoid E at all costs.
Have you seen the movie Borat? Then you will remember the gross but hilarious scene where the two guys are rolling around naked on the bed. That's who E reminds us of. Sorry to say. Look, we know this is a freebee, it didn't cost us anything to come here, we're not contributing to the room rental. But still. I am not going to do anything I don't feel for doing.
Dave takes a slightly different view. He tells me he is prepared to go up to E, who is lying on the rollaway bed we inhabited earlier, and take his dick in his mouth for a minute or two. He thinks I should do the same. One woman just went up and gave him a few spankings with her flog. Even belting the guy good won't coax me into battle. No way says I. We move to a discreet corner of the room and hope nobody notices us and calls us out.
We end up near the front door, watching all the birthday greeters approach E, when the doorbell rings. We reach for it, and in comes our perfect couple. Too bad we're in a mood now to cut and run. Dubya can't do that in Iraq, but we're ready and able to do that at this party.
But this couple look great. Vivacious and upbeat. She is named O, a great stage name if ever I heard one. Nearly shaved head, nice earrings, a nice dress showing off a shapely but trim body. Her guy is more problematic. He is absolutely flaming, lean and fit with cowboy chaps open in all the right places. He looks quite manly, until he opens his mouth to introduce himself. His voice is horrifyingly fey.
Dave's comment later is, "So what's the point in dressing up like you're ready to fuck any guy up the ass for miles around, and then you open your mouth and out comes this girlie voice? What kind of advertising is that?" Was he affecting it or was it for real? Unfortunately we conclude the latter.
But the woman, O, is lovely. She says to us, "We saw you two in the lobby earlier tonight, and we said to each other 'I bet we know where THEY are going.'" I quip back, well, what took you guys so long in getting up here? Oh we stopped off for some....fun...along the way (I forget how she put it exactly). When I introduce myself to her she wants to hug me, then runs her hands up my arms. "Oooh, your skin is so soft!" she says with enthusiasm.
Goddamn! Just when I meet a woman who is willing to put her hands all over me in the first few minutes and we're already in a mood to take our leave! We could have stayed, but we realize our time has past. If we played with this couple, it would feel weird given the people who would be hanging around watching us. The party has shaken down too thoroughly at this point, we know what we will get, we know what we have gotten so far. We don't think things will improve. So we are prepared to go.
What's amusing is that this new couple seems to have made a command decision pretty early. In a few minutes they are already down to business, she is on her knees sucking his cock in amongst the chaps. They probably took a quick look around, decided it was going to be the two of them, and away they went. They were playing just a few feet from Dave and I. We were standing, stroking each other against the wall.
But we just didn't want to get embroiled with this couple in the middle of this crowd.
The other guy, R, who I was also hesitant about meeting again, finally walks in. True to form, he gives Dave and I a wide berth. That is fine with us. I was prepared to say hello politely but even that did not have to happen.
I look over and see the hostess, B, is getting a lot of attention from several guys on the floor. But again, it is light play, lots of touchy-feely, a bit of oral play but not really even that. Just quiet adoration. Who's actually going to fuck her, I thought. Who does she WANT to fuck her?
The people again are just, for the most part, overweight and out of shape or just plain unattractive. And the mood is just too low-key for us. Dave has told me so much about his bath house encounters that I am of the opinion that I want that intensity too. When it's not around, I want to pack my bags and leave.
So, we pack our bags and leave. But I cast a hope out there to the universe that this couple will come our way again sometime.
- - - - -
Well, midway through the evening, we find out what E's hopes and dreams consisted of. His wife B makes an announcement that we all have to pay homage to E on his birthday, and we were all expected to come up one by one and do "something nice" for our host. That's left up to you.
The minute she announced this, I noticed a number of people on my side of the room reacted. And not positively, either. There was a shuffling and moving around of bodies suddenly. As if we all had heard the hostess' request and we were looking for the nearest exit. Good, thought I, we are not alone in wanting to avoid E at all costs.
Have you seen the movie Borat? Then you will remember the gross but hilarious scene where the two guys are rolling around naked on the bed. That's who E reminds us of. Sorry to say. Look, we know this is a freebee, it didn't cost us anything to come here, we're not contributing to the room rental. But still. I am not going to do anything I don't feel for doing.
Dave takes a slightly different view. He tells me he is prepared to go up to E, who is lying on the rollaway bed we inhabited earlier, and take his dick in his mouth for a minute or two. He thinks I should do the same. One woman just went up and gave him a few spankings with her flog. Even belting the guy good won't coax me into battle. No way says I. We move to a discreet corner of the room and hope nobody notices us and calls us out.
We end up near the front door, watching all the birthday greeters approach E, when the doorbell rings. We reach for it, and in comes our perfect couple. Too bad we're in a mood now to cut and run. Dubya can't do that in Iraq, but we're ready and able to do that at this party.
But this couple look great. Vivacious and upbeat. She is named O, a great stage name if ever I heard one. Nearly shaved head, nice earrings, a nice dress showing off a shapely but trim body. Her guy is more problematic. He is absolutely flaming, lean and fit with cowboy chaps open in all the right places. He looks quite manly, until he opens his mouth to introduce himself. His voice is horrifyingly fey.
Dave's comment later is, "So what's the point in dressing up like you're ready to fuck any guy up the ass for miles around, and then you open your mouth and out comes this girlie voice? What kind of advertising is that?" Was he affecting it or was it for real? Unfortunately we conclude the latter.
But the woman, O, is lovely. She says to us, "We saw you two in the lobby earlier tonight, and we said to each other 'I bet we know where THEY are going.'" I quip back, well, what took you guys so long in getting up here? Oh we stopped off for some....fun...along the way (I forget how she put it exactly). When I introduce myself to her she wants to hug me, then runs her hands up my arms. "Oooh, your skin is so soft!" she says with enthusiasm.
Goddamn! Just when I meet a woman who is willing to put her hands all over me in the first few minutes and we're already in a mood to take our leave! We could have stayed, but we realize our time has past. If we played with this couple, it would feel weird given the people who would be hanging around watching us. The party has shaken down too thoroughly at this point, we know what we will get, we know what we have gotten so far. We don't think things will improve. So we are prepared to go.
What's amusing is that this new couple seems to have made a command decision pretty early. In a few minutes they are already down to business, she is on her knees sucking his cock in amongst the chaps. They probably took a quick look around, decided it was going to be the two of them, and away they went. They were playing just a few feet from Dave and I. We were standing, stroking each other against the wall.
But we just didn't want to get embroiled with this couple in the middle of this crowd.
The other guy, R, who I was also hesitant about meeting again, finally walks in. True to form, he gives Dave and I a wide berth. That is fine with us. I was prepared to say hello politely but even that did not have to happen.
I look over and see the hostess, B, is getting a lot of attention from several guys on the floor. But again, it is light play, lots of touchy-feely, a bit of oral play but not really even that. Just quiet adoration. Who's actually going to fuck her, I thought. Who does she WANT to fuck her?
The people again are just, for the most part, overweight and out of shape or just plain unattractive. And the mood is just too low-key for us. Dave has told me so much about his bath house encounters that I am of the opinion that I want that intensity too. When it's not around, I want to pack my bags and leave.
So, we pack our bags and leave. But I cast a hope out there to the universe that this couple will come our way again sometime.
- - - - -
Friday, December 01, 2006
A Birthday Orgy (Pt.3)
Our host E at several points tries to engage Dave and I. Dave finds his attentions creepy. He has run across this more than I have. E comes up to me later to ascertain I am having a good time, and I politely suggest I am capable of doing that without his attentions. He seems to take this ok and wanders off somewhere.
There is another older guy, stout but strong looking, who unfortunately is bounding around in a G-string and socks. Dave loses all erotic interest when socks enter the picture. It's funny how many guys wear them even in porn films. How erotic is that? He notices me from the get-go, as Dave and I both observe. Several times he comes over to say, "Anything you need, why just let me know." Okay, I reply, you'll be first on my list.
We notice that at this particular sex party there is no porn running at all, anywhere. Usually a videotape is running somewhere, why not after all you are at a sex party. It helps create the mood. An oversight? Don't know.
I also notice, upon opening the fridge, that there are a few bottles of bubbly and tons of bottles of Gatorade, but nothing at all with caffeine. We could use some.
Maybe I mention these two things because, in their own way, they contribute to why we felt the party was something of a dud sexually. Just not enough heat to go around here. So naturally there's an absence of caffeine and lust. Looking around the room, I don't even see guys with erect dicks. Except our Asian guy, we looked around and realized that he and his hard-on had disappeared. But what's the excuse of most of the other guys?
Clearly though, it is a crowd that seems pretty well acquainted. We can identify the other players who, like us, are not quite yet "regulars." There is H, a rather attractive blonde there with her boyfriend, a sullen dark-haired guy with a tight pair of black shorts and a pot belly hanging over it. H is wearing a sheer body stocking. I notice her first in the kitchen, she is standing next to Dave and they begin a conversation. I am amused and curious to see where this goes, so I stay back a ways. Dave's shaved head look can be attractive to certain women once they get by his often scary expressions.
Dave always says he does not find that many women at these parties who are attractive to him personally. His fear in fact is that some woman will want him that he is not interested in. He is much more able to deal with the men. H is attractive enough, and I detect a pique of curiosity in her about Dave. But then he calls me over to settle a question they are debating, so H realizes now I am the other half of the team. But I don't think on retrospect this would have gone anywhere.
H and her boyfriend seem very out of place. Both of them refuse to get totally naked. So they compromised: she wore a body stocking, he had his short shorts. Depending if they like what they see around them, those outfits are easy enough to get out of. But as the party goes on, we get the sense they aren't going there. They are not that thrilled with the participants either, and the outfits stay on. At least Dave and I are naked, but then that's just us.
Dave sees one or two guys he might be interested in dealing with, but one of them, a black guy, seems new and out of place too, and he's leaving soon anyways to work a graveyard shift. The other guy is youngish and handsome, with a pony tail. But he wanders around with a bemused expression, somewhat interested but mostly just looking.
Dave wants what he finds at the bath house, but this is not the crowd at all for that. The energy level is quite different.
After Dave gets me off he wanders off to the kitchen and I settle into a large sofa chair, where I can watch A now turning his attention to his friend P, who observed us playing earlier. I like watching two guys. Especially when they spend so much time on foreplay. Hell, Dave and I spend so little. A gets on top of P's stomach and they rub loins for quite a while. Just when I am starting to get bored, A finally gets off from the top position and P fucks him from behind.
But in fact, I see only one other couple fucking while we are there. An older guy is seated in a sofa chair, and an older fat woman with long grey hair is seated atop him. That's it, folks!
TO BE CONTINUED
There is another older guy, stout but strong looking, who unfortunately is bounding around in a G-string and socks. Dave loses all erotic interest when socks enter the picture. It's funny how many guys wear them even in porn films. How erotic is that? He notices me from the get-go, as Dave and I both observe. Several times he comes over to say, "Anything you need, why just let me know." Okay, I reply, you'll be first on my list.
We notice that at this particular sex party there is no porn running at all, anywhere. Usually a videotape is running somewhere, why not after all you are at a sex party. It helps create the mood. An oversight? Don't know.
I also notice, upon opening the fridge, that there are a few bottles of bubbly and tons of bottles of Gatorade, but nothing at all with caffeine. We could use some.
Maybe I mention these two things because, in their own way, they contribute to why we felt the party was something of a dud sexually. Just not enough heat to go around here. So naturally there's an absence of caffeine and lust. Looking around the room, I don't even see guys with erect dicks. Except our Asian guy, we looked around and realized that he and his hard-on had disappeared. But what's the excuse of most of the other guys?
Clearly though, it is a crowd that seems pretty well acquainted. We can identify the other players who, like us, are not quite yet "regulars." There is H, a rather attractive blonde there with her boyfriend, a sullen dark-haired guy with a tight pair of black shorts and a pot belly hanging over it. H is wearing a sheer body stocking. I notice her first in the kitchen, she is standing next to Dave and they begin a conversation. I am amused and curious to see where this goes, so I stay back a ways. Dave's shaved head look can be attractive to certain women once they get by his often scary expressions.
Dave always says he does not find that many women at these parties who are attractive to him personally. His fear in fact is that some woman will want him that he is not interested in. He is much more able to deal with the men. H is attractive enough, and I detect a pique of curiosity in her about Dave. But then he calls me over to settle a question they are debating, so H realizes now I am the other half of the team. But I don't think on retrospect this would have gone anywhere.
H and her boyfriend seem very out of place. Both of them refuse to get totally naked. So they compromised: she wore a body stocking, he had his short shorts. Depending if they like what they see around them, those outfits are easy enough to get out of. But as the party goes on, we get the sense they aren't going there. They are not that thrilled with the participants either, and the outfits stay on. At least Dave and I are naked, but then that's just us.
Dave sees one or two guys he might be interested in dealing with, but one of them, a black guy, seems new and out of place too, and he's leaving soon anyways to work a graveyard shift. The other guy is youngish and handsome, with a pony tail. But he wanders around with a bemused expression, somewhat interested but mostly just looking.
Dave wants what he finds at the bath house, but this is not the crowd at all for that. The energy level is quite different.
After Dave gets me off he wanders off to the kitchen and I settle into a large sofa chair, where I can watch A now turning his attention to his friend P, who observed us playing earlier. I like watching two guys. Especially when they spend so much time on foreplay. Hell, Dave and I spend so little. A gets on top of P's stomach and they rub loins for quite a while. Just when I am starting to get bored, A finally gets off from the top position and P fucks him from behind.
But in fact, I see only one other couple fucking while we are there. An older guy is seated in a sofa chair, and an older fat woman with long grey hair is seated atop him. That's it, folks!
TO BE CONTINUED
