California Reaming - A Woman's Adventures In Polyamory

Last time I took up the question of what makes for a good sex party. I want to address further the number two item on that list, namely that a good party has a good mix of queer/hetero/bi/transgendered/leather/kink friendly folk. Quite a mouthful! Because many sex parties are not queer friendly at all, I would say. They may allow bisexual play among women, but that's really in the context of the males present, who often draw energy off those situations to themselves.

But God forbid if a guy should lustfully put his hand on another guy's crotch. That sort of thing just doesn't happen at many parties, "unless it's in the deepest, darkest corners of the house," said a recent male acquaintance, who is bi, and who picked up on the anti-bi male thing at this one particular party. Rather odd, considering this party is at a house in one of the hippest enclaves around the Bay Area, with a cool hetero crowd. But they don't budge from that, really. They are as straight as my in-laws, other than the bi stuff with the girls. And that's no longer daring. So move on, guys.

That's unfortunate, because inhibitions like that deprive a good sex party of the best thing it has going for it, its energy, which comes from the variety the party may have going on that particular night. I mean, the fact I can be playing with D, and a few feet away I can see a Japanese girl and her white male companion going at it, and then a leather boy is fucking his male partner across the room, and two dykes are playing their own little duet atop the gynecological exam table, and...on and on.

That's what you want to see at a sex party. I love looking around, and everywhere there's this great variety of expression, and I am thinking yeah, this is why the fates kept me alive after my aneurysm, so I could be here and take this all in and appreciate it. I would hate to lose that diversity, I think it's great. I wish I could take a picture of it all. But of course, photography is not allowed at these parties.

I would also add another entry to that list. A good party enforces its rules; indeed, it HAS rules. Single women are looked out for at a good party. There may be a monitor or two, or three, depending on the size of the gathering and the number of floors involved. The management/owner makes sure the rules are known and acknowledged by all participants. People basically DO ask before touching, they are mostly respectful. But of course there IS a good deal of looking. But I maintain that is alright, up to a point. That point varies I suppose, but we can all tell gawking usually when we see it. That's what I mean. And you don't crowd scenes. If problems arise, the owner has hired people who can take care of trouble.

Energy vampires need not apply either.


TO BE CONTINUED